The Three Silly Pigs
Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. Although they seemed to get along very well on the surface, each secretly felt that each was better then the other. (Really though, all 3 were just equally pathetic.)
The oldest little pig, Victoriana, was ugly, arrogant, fat and lazy. Thus, no boy-pigs wanted her. She had to build her house all by herself, and decided with straw as it was lighter to carry, and was "THE" colour that season.
The second little pig was Jane, the "fake". She always lied that her name was actually Jhaine Emelind Paree Hilton- a distant relative of the famed socialite. She was lazy too, but would work hard to make things look good. She lived alone and miserable in her rotten wooden house, that looked like a marble mansion from the outside. (She learnt how to get the marbelling effects from DIY books.)
The youngest little pig, seemed the most successful. Youth, a husband, a neat stone cottage with a white picket fence. Cinladida was the typical gossipy and brainless bimbo.
One day, their long time enemy came along, annoyed that he had to make yet ANOTHER appearance in another silly tale. After all, his business was doing well now, and he was no longer the poor and hungry wolf that he was long ago. He went about the usual things he was scripted to do...
Wolfy reached Victoriana's house, blew it down with his huffing and puffing, and Victoriana waddled (she was too fat to run) squealing to Jane's house. Victoriana wasn't really afraid though, more excited as she had not been in the presence of a man for an EXTREMELY long time. She actually took the time to apply her sexiest red lipstick, and change into her shortest frilly skirt before waddling out of her house. While waddling,she took great efforts to sway her cellulite-infested bum seductively at wolfy!
One look at the wobbly blob of faded pink hussy had Wolfy's guts in a twist. He could have easily caught her if he bothered, but he couldn't bring himself to face the horrendous sight.
The same thing happened when Wolfy reached Jane's house. Two scantily clad fat old pigs wobbled their way pass him. Jane even looked back to throw him a suggestive wink, which caused Wolfy to throw up his lunch.
The funny thing was, he did not even have to threaten to blow down Jane's house, but the two of them wobbled out anyway. Looking at the marble walls, Wolfy thought it was just as well- he would have to borrow dynamite from Wile. E. Coyote to blow up those black marble walls...
Unknown "Lao maa" Adored
- 16 years, 11 months, 6 days ago
