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Unknown
Unknown owns this human at 26250 points.
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Rabid
Unknown
Unknown
"MONKEY'Z"



Name:
Unknown
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
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Herds (lead): Jokesters!
Herds: monkeyz
Rabid
Unknown
Unknown
"Hubby"
25000 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"wifey"
3000 pts
Loyal
Unknown
Unknown
"Jen"
3000 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"mommy"
3000 pts
Unknown's tales
Unknown
#1. A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

#2. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

#3. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, "If you don't do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die."

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
For dinner, fix especially nice meals selected from his favorite foods and don't burden him with household chores or problems.
Make love with him several times a week and satisfy his every sexual whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
She replied, "You're going to die."

Unknown "MONKEY'Z" Rabid - 16 years, 7 months, 6 days ago
Unknown
2 funny turtle jokes

#1. A bruised and battered turtle crawls into a police station. He says to the cop: "A gang of snails just beat me up!". The cop says: "Did you get a good look at them?". The turtle says: "Well, no, it all happened so fast!".

#2. Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Roy give me the bottle opener'

'I didn't bring it' says Roy.' I thought you packed it'.

Mick gets worried, He turns to Andy, 'Did you bring the bottle opener?'. Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it.

But he refuses saying - 'You'll eat all the sandwiches!'

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.

Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they and are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts....

'I KNEW IT.....................I'M NOT GOING.

Unknown "MONKEY'Z" Rabid - 16 years, 7 months, 6 days ago
Unknown
So im now married which just feels very very wierd! I keep frogetting to call him my husband lol! ohhh well i guess ill get use to it!
Unknown "MONKEY'Z" Rabid - 16 years, 7 months, 6 days ago
Unknown
Hey ppl just wanted to let you guys know clint is mine! hes my soon to be husband and that means take him from me and ill be pissed so will he! We are getting married March.23 so ladies stop the flirting! find your own man! And ummm clint in your note you put 4 1/2 years its 4 and 8 months lol! love you baby!
Unknown "MONKEY'Z" Rabid - 16 years, 8 months ago
Comments

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Unknown
wow thank you Jessica! sooo much :D I thumbed your tales but I couldn't find anything else.....guess I gotta go on Clints' page huh? hahahaha thats ok i'll go do that. :)
Unknown "Bella" GRRRRRR!!!!! - 16 years, 6 months, 10 days ago
Unknown
ya ill drop it if you do not so fun anymore i mean nobody trys to buy us that would be more fun trying to get eachother back but ya im done with this shit app PULL TABS for life
You have been given I Swear I found Her Like That!.
Crafted by
Unknown "Hubby" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 13 days ago
Unknown

You have been given WTF Knock First,.
Crafted by
Unknown "Hubby" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 18 days ago
Unknown

You have been given Kiss my @ss.
Crafted by
Unknown "Hubby" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 18 days ago
Unknown

You have been given You Complete Me.
Crafted by
Unknown "Hubby" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 22 days ago
Unknown

You have been given a little pet Emo.
Crafted by
Unknown "Hubby" Rabid - 16 years, 6 months, 22 days ago
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