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Jan B
Jan B owns this human at 20500 points.
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Peaceful
Unknown
Unknown
"Punkette"



Name:
Unknown
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Location:

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Herds (lead): Thumbs Just for Me!
Herds: Punks rule the world!
Unknown's tales
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Unknown
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him... Sum Ting Wong
Unknown "Punkette" Peaceful - 15 years, 10 months, 8 days ago
Unknown
HERE'S A RIDDLE FOR YOU.

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Answer: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass,and an unknown number of hares, And of course one (1) . . .
Unknown
Unknown "Punkette" Peaceful - 15 years, 10 months, 10 days ago
Unknown
BEWARE OF IMPOSTERS!!!
Unknown Unknown Unknown Unknown Unknown Unknown Unknown
Unknown "Punkette" Peaceful - 15 years, 10 months, 10 days ago
Unknown
> If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) and came upon the following poster........ Would you quit drinking?


Unknown
Unknown "Punkette" Peaceful - 15 years, 10 months, 10 days ago
Unknown
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety . . . ?? > > WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. > > > Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. > > Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? > > There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? > > So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4" in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' > > What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best . . .? > I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!! > > I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.> > > The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. > > Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution . . . there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! > > > You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative? SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!! > > A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point) I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about eight feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 pounds. I had no control over the drooling. Apparrently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. > > I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
Unknown "Punkette" Peaceful - 15 years, 10 months, 10 days ago
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Comments

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Jan B

You have been given A Rockabilly Cat tattoo.
Crafted by PsychoBilly
Jan B Ferocious - 15 years, 8 months, 20 days ago
Alexander Graesser
random comment #6159) *flashed* You have been flashed
Alexander Graesser "Flambeaux" gone! - 15 years, 8 months, 27 days ago
Jan B

You have been given I hear your a - Party animal.
Crafted by Kerry
Jan B Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 24 days ago
Jan B
This is me later tonight!! I got invited to the art teacher's house for a party! Yay! She even drew me a map!
You have been given A Prayer to the "Porcelain.
Crafted by Unknown
Jan B Ferocious - 15 years, 9 months, 29 days ago
Jan B
Beers this weekend? I need one bad!!! I think I know why so many teachers drink so much!
You have been given A Heiny!.
Crafted by Unknown
Jan B Ferocious - 15 years, 10 months, 1 day ago
Unknown
Oh yeah, there's some pretty good ska around here, it's just really underground. The last ska show I went to was Streetlight Manifesto, Suburban Legends, The Stitch-Ups (Dan Potthast's, of Mu-330 fame, new band), and a local band called The Goners. I broke my glasses during Suburban Legends, and didn't find the remains until the middle of Streetlight's set. Good times :)
Unknown "Sexy Man Meat" Trusting - 15 years, 10 months, 2 days ago
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Unknown's shop
Gizmo's Gadgets

The needs and wants of every owner and pet.

You are mine now...
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DiZzInEsS
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DiZzInEsS
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Head Rush!
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150 pts
Head Rush!
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Your Very Own...
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175 pts
Your Very Own...
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You make me do the Happy Dance!
1 use

250 pts
You make me do the Happy Dance!
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Leave My Pet Alone!!!
1 use

200 pts
Leave My Pet Alone!!!
Bought by 11 people
I missed you!!!
1 use

200 pts
I missed you!!!
Bought by 20 people
a Passionate Kiss
1 use

250 pts
a Passionate Kiss
Bought by 5 people
keyboard to help relieve stress
1 use

200 pts
keyboard to help relieve stress
Bought by 4 people
a Calming Sunset before Bed
1 use

200 pts
a Calming Sunset before Bed
Bought by 4 people
Sweets for my sweet
1 use

175 pts
Sweets for my sweet
Bought by 4 people
Run Away! Run Away!
1 use

175 pts
Run Away! Run Away!
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