a visit

you came quietly inside
lay your head down
glad for space
and loathe to leave

you never shut the door
it doesn't lock anyway
my door is always open
the key lost or hidden

you ruffled through my life
touched my shiny things
toes nestled in my dust
shifted my perspective

your scent left everywhere
your shadows on my wall
I still feel your breath
and hear your touch

the echo of your lips
a sweet and gentle tug
my mind remembers slowly
you never said goodbye

~ ts paulse








Unknown "Smoothie" voluntarily abducted - 15 years, 3 months, 18 days ago

ONE NIGHT ~ Radclyffe Hall

I stood beside you in the dark,
And felt the magic of the night

Steal o'er my senses, 'til they swooned,
And mists of passion dimmed my sight.

The stillness made me dumb, those words
I dared not utter choked my breath,

Each crushing each, as mad with life
They rose, to die a silent death.

My lips grew dry beneath the fire
Of kisses that they feign would give,

And every pulse, with answering beat,
Throbbed in its eagerness to live.

Unknown "Smoothie" voluntarily abducted - 15 years, 3 months, 29 days ago

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I have perky breasts! (thank gawd for underwires)
2. How much cash do you have on you? enough for a double Spiced Gold and Coke
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? BORE
4. Favorite planet? earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? my boss
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I only have one ring tone
7. What shirt are you wearing? not mine
8. Do you label yourself? only with synonyms for fabulous! :P
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? barefoot
10. Bright or Dark Room? always dark
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? intelligent
12. What does your watch look like? invisible
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? dreaming
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? "look for the cell phone"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? around the corner and 5 streets down
16. What's a word that you say a lot? excellent
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Nikita
18. Last furry thing you touched? hah
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? just the usual
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? probably one long forgotten in a drawer somewhere
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 33
22. Your worst enemy? I love everybody
23. What is your current desktop picture? one of Nikita and me with a flower behind my ear
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? that's mine
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? to fly
26. Do you like someone? I like everybody
27. The last song you listened to? Strange and Beautiful ~ Aqualung
28. What time of day were you born? 08h10 in the morning
29. What’s your favorite number? 4
30. Where did you live in 1987? next door
31. Are you jealous of anyone? I try not to be
32. Is anyone jealous of you? I don't think so
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? in a Sales meeting at work
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? hasn't happened yet
35. Do you consider yourself kind? I do try to be
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? curved along my right hip
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Italian
38. Would you move for the person you loved? I did, it lasted 4 months
39. Are you touchy feely? depends on who with
40. What’s your life motto? the sun will come up tomorrow
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? cell, keys, wallet
42. What’s your favourite town/city? Cape Town
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? toffee caramel cheesecake
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? about 5 weeks ago, but it was hand-delivered not mailed
45. Can you change the oil on a car? no
46. Your first love: young, adventurous
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? my aunt would know
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? fancy makes me uncomfortable
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? thankfully no
50. Have you been burned by love? who hasn't
Unknown "Smoothie" voluntarily abducted - 15 years, 5 months, 12 days ago

1. How old will you be in five years? 40 ... omg! say it isn't so!
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? a couple of really great girls celebrating their birthday
3. How tall are you? not very
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? spending quality time with my baby
5. What's the last movie you saw? At the movies?? Mama Mia
At home?? Dr Seuss's Horton Hears a Who
6. Who was the last person you called? Janine
7. Who was the last person to call you? Janine
8. What was the last text message you received? 'Hey girls, thanks for joining us ....'
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? Nikita
10. Do you prefer to call or text? call
11. What were you doing at 12 am last night? sitting around a fire, toasting marshmallows, waiting to wish Bridget for her 30th birthday
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? dad passed away, mom never remarried
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? at 18h00 when we drank coffee together
14. What color are your eyes? Blue
15. What time did you wake up today? hmmm ... not sure, but the sun was up high in the sky already
16. What are you wearing right now? peach check flannel pj's
17. What is your favorite Christmas song? All I want for Christmas is You
18. Where is your favorite place to be? Lying on my couch
19. Where is your least favorite place to be? At work
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Italy
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? I try not to think about that too much
22. Do you tan or burn? I don't like the sun
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? a werewolf
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? I laughed a lot this weekend
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1
26. How big is your bed? large enough for me, Nikita, 10 teddy's, 4 stuffed elephants, 3 story books, Nikita's latest treasures and other assorted oddities
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? desktop, but have begged Santa for a laptop
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? well now ....
29. What color are your sheets? burgundy
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
31. What is your favorite season? Winter
32. What do you like about fall? The beautiful colours
33. What do you like about winter? Lying in bed listening to the rain
34. What do you like about the summer? not much, I don't like the sun
35. What do you like about spring? everything is so fresh
36. How many countries have you lived in? 1
37. How many cities/towns have you lived in? 1
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? fluffy socks
39. Are you a social person? I can be
40. What was the last thing you ate? Ghost Pops
41. What is your favorite restaurant? anywhere child friendly
42. What is your favorite ice cream? Not really into ice-cream. but I do enjoy Blueberry Cheesecake
43. What is your favorite dessert? anything with caramel!
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? my mom's pea soup
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? smooth apricot
46. Do you like Chinese food? Yes, but only sweet 'n sour chicken
47. Do you like coffee? it's the only way I can start the day
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? around 3
49. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee!
50. What did you eat for breakfast? a delicious chicken mayo sandwich with avo and honey and mustard sauce
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? not really
52. Do you know how to play poker? yes, but I suck at it coz I can't bluff to save my life!
53. Do you like to cuddle? but of course
54. Have you ever been to Australia? No
55. Do you have an addictive personality? No
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? Home
57. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yes, David, Annecke and Carmelita
58. Do you want kids? I have one
59. Do you speak any other languages? Afrikaans
60. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yes
61. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes
62. Have you ever spent the night in a hospital? Many
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Pool
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? for what?
65. Do you know how to drive stick? Yes
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Nikita, but she's not a thing ;)
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? only a necklace since recently
68. What is your favorite TV show? CSI
69. Can you roll your tongue? amongst other things ..
70. Who is the funniest person you know? Prior
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes, an elephant
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? I Kissed a Girl
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? Yes
74. What red object is closest to you right now? Nikita's school uniform
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don't have a closet
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? bees
78. Do you flirt a lot? No
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Honey and mustard
80. What is your favorite food? anything with chicken
81. Can you change the oil on a car? No
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yes
83. Have you ever run out of gas? Yes
84. What is your usual bedtime? between 11 and 2
85. What was the last book you read? Blood and Gold, again
86. Do you read the newspaper? I have to for work, the Business Times ... blech
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No
88. Do you watch soap operas? No
89. Do you dance in the car? Yes
90. What radio station did you last listen to? KFM (under duress :P)
91. What is your favorite radio station? 5FM
92. Who/what is in the picture frame closest to you? a whole bunch of Nikita's baby pics'
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? a doodle
94. What is your favorite candle scent? Vanilla and Cinnamon
95. What is your favorite board game? Scrabble
96. What is your favorite video game? any one that Nikita doesn't kick my ass at!
97. When was the last time you attended church? can't remember
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Granny Hughes
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? a week as a Girl Guide
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Janine
Unknown "Smoothie" voluntarily abducted - 15 years, 5 months, 17 days ago

Have you ever made out in a bathroom? oh yeah
Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? of course my daughter is nice!
Who was the last person to call you? Charmaine
What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? coke
When is the last time you cried? not too long ago
Are you scared of spiders? not at all
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? no
What are your plans for this weekend? daughter's karate tournament, chocolate mousse with Candi, dvd's and pizza at home
Ever been swimming in a lake or river? yes, prefer the lake
Last person you drove with in a car? mom and daughter
What did you last buy? bread, milk, turkish delight
What’s irritating you right now? that It's broken
What radio station(s) do you listen to? don't listen to radio much
Are you afraid of the dark? no, I'm sitting in the dark right now
Are you listening to music right now? yes
Do you like Chinese food? only sweet 'n sour chicken
Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? yes
Do you get distracted easily? I try not to
First time you kissed the last person you kissed? the day she was born
Was this the best year of your life? they're all good years
Who are your best friends? they know who they are
What was going through your mind during your last kiss? I am loved
Is it easier to forgive or forget? depends on what needs to be forgiven or forgotten
Are you jealous of someone? no
What last made you laugh the hardest? some silly comment a colleague made today
Do you flirt a lot? no
Would you live with someone without marrying them? I have already
Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying? no
Who was the last person you cried in front of? does it matter?
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? hehehe ....
Who was the last person that made you feel safe, why? me
Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? it's a curse
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I hope not
Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I try to be
What did you do yesterday? ate waffles in bed, had lunch at the beach, lay on the couch
Have you ever dated Someone Older Than You? yes
What time did you go to bed at and when did you awake? 11:30 pm; 6:30 am
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes
Believe in love at first sight? it happens
Unknown "Smoothie" voluntarily abducted - 15 years, 6 months ago