An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the
eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Unknown "Sexy smile" Ferocious - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie pops out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish".
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world".
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life".
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up", the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch".
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Unknown "Sexy smile" Ferocious - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A priest offered a Nun a lift. As she sat in the car, she could not help but
reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg .The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" He removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak".
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Unknown "Sexy smile" Ferocious - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A man is getting into the shower as his wife is getting out, when the doorbell
rings. She quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. She opens
the door to Bob, the next door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, she drops it and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
Wrapping herself in the towel, as she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks:
"Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour" she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders (and Management team), in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.


Unknown "Sexy smile" Ferocious - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be eight again" she replied
On the morning of her birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Coco Pops and then took her off to the local theme park.
What a Day!
He put her on every ride in the park:
* The Death Slide
* The Wall of Fear
* The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme Park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving husband
ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate
milk shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a
hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and
M& M's.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed
exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you idiot
The moral of this story: Even when a man is Listening, he's still going
to get it wrong.




Unknown "Sexy smile" Ferocious - 16 years, 9 months, 7 days ago