THE SOUTH AFRICAN WAY

When something good happens, we drink to celebrate!



* When something bad happens, we drink to forget!

* When nothing happens, we drink so that something does happen.



* We can't go on like this people. Can we meet for drinks later so we can talk about this?
Unknown "George my spider" Tired - 16 years, 5 months ago

Dad at the mall:

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild In your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

'Got drunk once and f * cked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Unknown "George my spider" Tired - 16 years, 5 months ago

English Test


Fill in the blank with Yes or No ----



a) _________ I don't have a BRAIN!
Unknown "George my spider" Tired - 16 years, 5 months, 7 days ago

Sex in the Dark... There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."
Unknown "George my spider" Tired - 16 years, 5 months, 7 days ago

ATTENDING A WEDDING FOR THE FIRST TIME, A LITTLE GIRL WHISPERED TO HER
MOTHER,"WHY IS THE BRIDE DRESSED IN WHITE?"

"BECAUSE WHITE IS THE COLOR OF HAPPINESS, AND TODAY IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF HER LIFE," THE MOTHER ANSWERED.

THE CHILD THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT, THEN SAID, "SO WHY IS THE
GROOM WEARING BLACK?
Unknown "George my spider" Tired - 16 years, 5 months, 7 days ago