Mary was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got intothe car. Resuming the journey, Mary tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Mary. 'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Mary looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.' The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: 'Good trade.....' lol

Unknown "Chocoholic" Sad - 15 years, 11 months, 5 days ago

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you"

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.
The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.

The wine just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.


Unknown "Chocoholic" Sad - 15 years, 11 months, 5 days ago

A man goes into a supermarket with his 8 year old son. At the check out the little boy sees a box of condoms and asks "what are those dad?"
The man answers readily "they are called condoms and men use them to pratise sfae sex"
"Aahhhh" says the boy "I've heard about that in heath lessons at school" picking up a box of 3 he asks "but why are there 3 in this box?"
"Because" answers his father "that's a box for high school students... 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night"
"Coooool" says the little boy then picking up a box of 6 " so who are these for?"
"Those are for University students" answers his father "2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night and 2 for Sunday night"
"Wow!!" exclaims the little boy "so who uses these?" indicating a pack of 12
With a sigh and a tear in his eye his father says "those are for married men.... 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March........ lol ;o)



Unknown "Chocoholic" Sad - 15 years, 11 months, 9 days ago

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses.... the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat............

10% of women think their ass is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world. ehehehehehehehe lol lol :o)


Unknown "Chocoholic" Sad - 15 years, 11 months, 9 days ago

.......WHEN YOU HAVE A ' I HATE MY JOB' DAY.........

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, care fully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement " Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized!"

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

lol lol lol
Unknown "Chocoholic" Sad - 15 years, 11 months, 9 days ago