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Pigeon Sue "Countess Dakota" JUST A LITTLE TASTE...... - 15 years, 6 months, 5 days ago

The World’s Grossest Food

By Robin Esrock



Robin Esrock looks at a Menu from Hell. Reader Warning: Some of these descriptions may ruin your appetite.
I compiled this definitive list with two very simple rules:
a) The items mentioned below should be available to members of the paying, mostly insane, public.
b) To qualify, the thought of each dish should make my stomach swill over, my throat seize up, my nose twitch in, and my eyes rattle out. On behalf of us all, my thanks to the Editor for not requesting a photo gallery.

The Sour Toe Cocktail
Let’s begin in the Yukon Territory, in the long-past-its-boom town of Dawson City. The Downtown Hotel bar serves up a drink of straight whiskey, with added flavouring from a real life severed human toe. A big, gnarly one too, shrivelled and yellow, with the nail still on. I joined the Sour Toe Cocktail club, and to qualify, the toe must touch your lips. I can still feel it today, like a pickled, phantom limb. Everyone gets the same toe, and in the past, some toes have been swallowed. Feeling icky yet? Just wait…

Balut
Duck can be delicious, and eggs can be delicious, so why does it get nasty when you mix the two together? Balut, a popular delicacy in the Philippines, is a fermented duck egg; that is an egg with a crunchy, sometimes feathery baby duck inside. You peel the shell, slurp up the embryonic fluid, add some salt, and bite hard into the crispy mushy goodness. Apparently, balut goes down really well with cold beer. Slugging back a few bottles might make this gourmet treat go down better, and for that matter, up again too.

Deep Fried Hairy Spiders
Personally, I just didn’t have the stomach for arachnoids when I was travelling by bus through Cambodia. A popular roadside snack, the large spiders are eaten in big bites, or pulled apart, leg by leg, and consumed like French fries. Black bug juice dribbles down the chin as you reach the best part of meal, the pincers and the bulbous back. All the poison is removed when the spiders are fried, and apparently the appeal lies in its crunchy-chewy texture. Along came a spider, and sat down beside her, and so Little Miss Muffet just ate the damn thing.

Ox Penis Soup
Let us just be grateful that, due to conservation laws and human evolution, it’s no longer Tiger Penis Soup. Some Chinese restaurants serve up this delicacy, known for its mythical and powerfully arousing properties. The broth is serviceable, but the reality of eating ox or deer penis is that it tastes like a hard, impossibly chewy sponge. Tourists wishing to partake in this dish may find themselves forced to spit it out, or swallow it whole.

Fermented Shark (Hákarl)
Moving over to Iceland now, where they like their sharks rotten, stinky, and air-dried out for 5 months. Oozing the odour and taste of powerful ammonia (think urine-scented cleaning products), hákarl is an acquired taste, even in Iceland. Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay puked on it, a common reaction for first-timers, who are advised to hold their nose to avoid detecting the disgusting stench they’re about to put in their mouths. Those who eat it are associated with being strong and brave. As someone appalled by the shark fin trade, I reckon anyone who eats the fins of these increasingly endangered fish should be forced to try this Scandinavian delicacy first.

Cats and Dogs
Widely condemned by the West and pet owners everywhere, it’s a sad fact that Fluffy and Fido are still on the menu in parts of Asia. Breeds of dog are raised specifically as food, and as my friend Naomi will testify, having adopted and therefore saved one such puppy from the roast, they remain viciously tempered. Dog has been eaten in China for thousands of years, and the meat is famed for medicinal properties. Meanwhile, Singapore’s Strait Times reports that up to 10,000 cats are eaten every day in the Chinese province of Guangdong. Brings a disturbing new meaning to the concept of “cat food”. Hug your Fluffy and Fido a little closer tonight.





Pigeon Sue "Countess Dakota" JUST A LITTLE TASTE...... - 15 years, 6 months, 16 days ago

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Pigeon Sue "Countess Dakota" JUST A LITTLE TASTE...... - 15 years, 6 months, 26 days ago

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Pigeon Sue "Countess Dakota" JUST A LITTLE TASTE...... - 15 years, 6 months, 26 days ago

The Evils Of Cola


Peter Liu
We know it’s bad for us, but can cola kill?


Cola is a beverage many of us have been familiar with since we were young. Cola manufacturers have been quenching our thirsts and filling our minds with advertising for decades. Billions of cans of cola are sold around the globe each year, with cola flowing like water in many industrialized countries. To that end, it’s not a real wonder that cola can effectively kill you if drunk in excessively large amounts, especially since a new medical study has laid out just how bad cola can be, for people who can’t get enough of it. One assumes at this point that the prudent thing to do would be to simply drink less cola, at least until the next time one is bombarded by cola advertising.

Quenching Details

Published in the June issue of the International Journal of Clinical Practice is a new study out of the Department of Internal Medicine at the University of Ioannina, Greece. Dr. Moses Elisaf and his fellow researchers reviewed the types of symptoms that could occur in people who drank anywhere from two litres to nine litres of cola per day, going over the case studies of patients who qualified. In one such study, a 44-year-old ostrich farmer was afflicted by lung paralysis as well as muscle weakness to the point of having trouble standing up. This was due to the four litres of cola he had been drinking every day for the past three years, up to 10 litres sometimes just to quench his thirst while out hunting. Another case study highlighted a 51-year-old man with chronic pulmonary disease, hypertension, muscle weakness and loose bowel issues several times a day. Doctors couldn’t figure out why he was experiencing his symptoms until they found out the man continuously sipped up to four litres of cola every day.

Stomach Churning Issues

Regardless of its branding, cola drinks have always been taken for granted as one of the most abundant sources of sugary, teeth-rotting beverages found on earth. Now the University of Ioannina study suggests that excessive overconsumption of cola drinks can cause not only tooth decay, but also diabetes, cardiovascular disease, bone demineralization and hypokalemia, which is low blood potassium levels caused by extreme cola overconsumption. Hypokalemia is the main cause behind the muscle problems experienced by people who drink too much cola. Muscle weakness can be anywhere from mild to paralysis.

More To Avoid

This study into the dangers of cola overconsumption singled out the three most common ingredients responsible for most of the health issues related to drinking cola, which, unsurprisingly, were glucose, fructose and caffeine. Seeing as how health professionals are always advising people to reduce their intake of those three anyhow, lowering cola intake could be beneficial in the long run, but how does one avoid the stormy seas of cola?

Moderation

Even though the University of Ioannina study focused on extreme cases of cola overconsumption, the issue is largely ignored everywhere else. Restaurants and stores continue to sell cola beyond the average 355 ml can in different forms of packaging that encourage overconsumption. The well-known plastic 2 litre cola bottles, as well as 7/11’s Big Gulp cup size are just two examples that can easily lure the average person into drinking too much cola.

Just Say No

The majority of convenience stores, restaurants and fast food joints all serve cola in one incarnation or another, and one should be wary. In restaurants, it’s simple to just order a different drink. In fast food chains cola is the standard they expect you to drink unless you specifically order something else. Don’t forget that used to be a medium-sized drink container is now the small-sized container in Wendy’s chain restaurants. In stores, it’s simple to walk past the rows of aluminum cans in favour of a healthier drink, provided you can avoid any other processed beverage that doesn’t contain glucose, fructose or caffeine.

Cutting Back

Committing to reducing your intake of cola, imitation colas and zero-calorie colas can be challenging, especially if you’re used to drinking more than one per day. Drinking less cola would certainly go a ways towards improving your overall health, but if and when you do toss back that coke, make sure you enjoy it!



Pigeon Sue "Countess Dakota" JUST A LITTLE TASTE...... - 15 years, 6 months, 26 days ago