Sleeping With A Snorer
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded, "or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "& he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth iy to you."
"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it."
The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed & bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
"Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, & said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' & he sat up all night watching me."
Unknown "Angel" Sleepy - 16 years, 2 months, 29 days ago

Hight Vision
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam, "I clearly saw him take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes," says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old & your eyesight is probably bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"
Unknown "Angel" Sleepy - 16 years, 2 months, 29 days ago

The Good Cutlery
Early in the marriage, Helen, the wife's lifelong friend, came to dinner. During the course of the meal, she broke a fork in half.
"Don't worry about it, Helen," said the husband. "It's just a cheap set."
The wife turned to the husband & whispered, "Honey, Helen gave us that set as a wedding gift!"
Unknown "Angel" Sleepy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

Department Store Assistance
A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked.
"No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need."
"Then would you mind getting someone to assist me?" she asked.
Unknown "Angel" Sleepy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

Ever Wondered
- Why the sun lightens your hair, but darkens your skin?
- Why if someone tells you that there are 100 billion galaxies in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you have to touch it to be sure?
- Why you never see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
- Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour?
- Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
- Why we drive on parkways & park on driveways?
- Why there isn't 'mouse' flavored cat food?
- Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why the first step in stopping Windows is to click 'Start'?
- Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
- Who tastes dog food & decides that it has a 'new & improved' flavor?
Unknown "Angel" Sleepy - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago