Story of the day:

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in-charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain...I should be in-charge because I run all body functions.

Blood...I should be in-charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.

Stomach...I should be in-charge because I process food to the brain.

Legs...I should be in-charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.

Eyes...I should be in-charge because I let the brain see where it's going.

Asshole...I should be in-charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1: Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief.

Day 2: Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly.

Day 3: Legs got cramps and became unstable.

Day 4: Eyes became watery and vision became blurred.

Day 5: Blood became toxic and poisoned the body.

Day 6: The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in-charge.



Moral of the story:

"NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE."

Unknown "♥Martina ♥" Serene - 16 years, 9 months, 18 days ago

had a shop, just for fun, for my owners.. for my pets.. for my frenz... for you =))
Unknown "♥Martina ♥" Serene - 16 years, 9 months, 19 days ago

Story of the day:

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie appears.

The genie says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each."

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff...and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff... and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12:55 pm."

Moral of the story:

"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST."

Unknown "♥Martina ♥" Serene - 16 years, 10 months, 6 days ago

Joke of the day:

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at aparty.

After several drinks, one the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The 1st guy said: "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder. He is now the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave hisbest friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The 2nd guy said: "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy.He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school tobecome a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his bestfriend a brand new jet for his brithday."

The 3rd man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday -a 30,000 square foot mansion."

The 3 friends congratulated each other just as the 4th returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the 3 said: "We were just talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..... What about your son?"

The 4th man replied: "Oh, my son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The 3 friends said: "What a shame ..... What a disappointment."

The 4th man replied: "No! I am not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.He hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was 2 weeks ago and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and atop of the line Mercedes from his 3 boyfriends."
Unknown "♥Martina ♥" Serene - 16 years, 10 months, 8 days ago

Just for laughs:

15 Contradictions of a Singaporean....

1. Nite - Sleep with air-con, Day - Bath with heater on

2. Day - Cannot Wake up, Nite - Cannot Sleep

3. Translation is need between Singaporean Chinese and Mainland Chinese

4. Smell Of rubbish beside letterboxes, Rubbish in front of Letterbox.

5. Some Sg Chinese use different language other then chinese to communicate.

6. Sg ppl dun like to vote, But like to complain

7. Half of Sg ppl dunno how to speak the country's language(malay)

8. There are quite a few rich/poor ppl in sg - They have Car, Credit Card, CPF but no Cash and is liable to lots of loans

9. There are also quite a few high-tech barbaric singaporean in sg - They know how to use state-of-the art equipment, use 3g mobile phone and powerful computers but they dunno how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet.

10. Sg ppl rush to buy Hello kitty, the other side busy killing stray cats

11. Chewing Gum - Can Chew, Cannot buy?? (Restricted buying)

12. Cigarettes - Convienent to buy, not convienent to smoke

13. Private Cars - Cheaper and Cheaper to buy, harder and harder to Maintain

14. Public Bus - Half the Crowd Squeeze in front of the Bus, Second Half is Carrying Ghost

15. Education - Teach Less Learn More.


Unknown "♥Martina ♥" Serene - 16 years, 10 months, 9 days ago