HOW TO KILL A SOUTH DEKOTA EEL
Little Johnny was twelve years old, like other boys his age, rather curious he had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from older boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother who became rather flustered. Instead of explaing things to Johnny she told him to hide behind a curtain one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning Johnny described everything to his mother.
She and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while and then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to hug and kiss her. I figure sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand under her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seems to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon they both started panting and getting all out of breathe, his other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time sis started getting worse, she began to moan and sigh and skirm around the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him that she was very hot.
Finally I found out what was making them so sick - a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It jumped out of his pants and stood there about 10 inches long. Honest! Anyway, she grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.
When sis saw it she really got scared, her eyes got really big and her mouth fell open and she started calling God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she ever saw. I should tell her about the ones down at the lake.
Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting it's head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting her.
Sis laid back and spread her legs so that she could get a scissor lock on it, and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squeezing it between them.
After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I know it was dead because it hung out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again and by golly the eel wasn't dead!!! It jumped straight up and started fighting again. I guess eels are like cats they have nine lives or something.
This time sis jumped up and tried killing the eel by sitting on it. After 35 minutes of struggling and stuff they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead this time because I saw sis's boyfriend peel it's skin off and flush it down the toilet.
Sincerely yours,
Johnny - sis's brother
I heard this one when I was in High School and found it funny then and still do. Hope you laughed your ass off! Peace!
Unknown "Foxy Lady" Loyal
- 16 years, 1 month, 25 days ago
