Here is how it is from my side of the mirror;
I am standing with my heart in my hands, looking at it trying to wipe it clean with acid and trying to mend it with a broken thread.
So many times I let it fall on broken glass and roll around in garbage.
One day I decided to put it away for safekeeping, in a tightly sealed box within a locked room and forsaken house.
Now I am trying to unbolt all the doors and break through the chains, but his darkness follows me and then I barricade another room.
Sometimes I can’t breathe, my throat closes and I have to try and regain me by hurting myself.
The cuts and scars are multiplying and I am getting nowhere close to my heart.
I thought that he didn’t have my heart but he did and still does.
I tried to disregard him by separating my body from my mind. When I lie down or stand up as soon as a man comes close, all I see is his face and that smirk.
I hear my voice telling me I am strong, but I am exhausted. I thought that if I could just stop it all I would stop hurting.
However no matter how many times I tried I kept failing.
I don’t want to hurt anymore, I am so drained and inside I am crying and shattering.
The yells and tears don’t materialize outside. So now I am unvoiced and hurting
All I ever wanted was someone like you, who would feel the pain like I do.
This is why it hurts so much more than I thought, because every time I look at you I see my pain and I can’t let you hurt the same way I do.
So here it is and where to now?
I miss your excruciatingly beautiful eyes and your fiery hands that used to scar my face and body when you touched me.
I miss your dagger within me that used to incise me until I ached with rapture.
Gisela Weepner 2008/05/13

Unknown "Temptation" Tender - 16 years, 2 months, 15 days ago

Darkness folds its arms around me and makes me feel beautiful.
Lying inside the shadows, you cant see my imperfections.
Scratching scars in the dark, my blood seems darker- more pure.
Swimming inside my thoughts, I stand facing endless mirrors.
Reflecting the truth about me.
Sleepless nights wondering through an endless forest of broken glass, cutting at my flesh.
Purifying me by bleeding dry. A drowing feeling of unfamiliarity, unknown forces pulling and tugging the strings of my heart. Making my body trot around like a silly monacan, in directions that leads to more pain.
Millions of faces with expressions of every emotion stare at the puppet show playing for them.
The script is written by a sadistic two face that laughs as I bleed on stage, but cries as the ink runs out because my blood supplied the inspiration for the autobiography of a masochist.
Unknown "Temptation" Tender - 16 years, 2 months, 15 days ago