ok, well I thought it was funny
Unknown "Confuzedddd" Uncertain - 16 years, 1 month, 13 days ago

A joke for you all.....

A plane is flying across the ocean, on board is the pilot, an 8 year old kid, and the smartest man in the world.

The plane starts to have engine trouble, and all non-essential items are jettisoned to lighten up the plane so it can keep flying. Soon, virtually everything has been dumped, other than two parachutes.

The plane continues to have problems, and the pilot announces that it is going to crash, and very soon! He tells the kid to take the parachute and jump, since he's young and has his whole life ahead of him. The kid says, "No, I want you to jump, since you're a brave pilot and hero, and you deserve to fly again another day." As they quibble with each other, the smartest man in the world says, "I'm the smartest man in the world, the world can't live without me! You guys do whatever the hell you want, but I'm strapping on this chute and I'm outta here!" So he straps up and jumps out of the plane as quickly as he can, "See ya suckers!!"

The pilot starts getting angry with the kid and tells him, "Just go!! I want to go down with my plane already!" Then the kid says, "Yay!!!" The pilot then wonders, what the hell is this kid's problem, and angrily says, "What is YAY for????!!!"

The kid says, "We have two parachutes, we're both saved!"

The puzzled pilot says that he has no idea what the kid is talking about, since he just saw the smartest man in the world jump out of the plane. The kid says, "I dunno if he's too smart, the world probably can do without him. He just strapped on my backpack and jumped out of the plane..."
Unknown "Confuzedddd" Uncertain - 16 years, 1 month, 13 days ago

Another road trip, this time to Dallas, TX. Somewhere around Midland, TX we stop at a convenience store, then get back in the truck and hit the road. My friend from Vancouver, BC, Canada says, "That lady in there was asking me weird questions. But at least she complimented me." I said, what the hell are you talking about, what questions. So my friend says, "Well, she asked me how long I've been in the US, and I told her for a week now. Then she told me that my English was really good!" I said, OMG she thinks you MOVED here from another country a week ago and already learned that much English! Suddenly my friend wants to go back and explain to the lady what the real situation is...I said forget it we ain't going back!! A redneck TX female and a Canadian chinese female are definitely not on the same wavelength is all I have to say.

Unknown "Confuzedddd" Uncertain - 16 years, 1 month, 21 days ago

One time on a road trip to Sierra Vista, AZ (we had 3-5 cars, I don't recall how many), we stop at a Chevron to gas up, take a leak, whatever. My friend Charlie and I go into the bathroom and are taking a piss at the two urinals, talking to each other (guys do this if you girls don’t already know), and our friend Bob must have had to go really bad, he’s already in the stall taking a dump. We start talking louder and louder, and it’s echoing like crazy since it’s a no-window, small bathroom. Then we start yelling as loud as we can, “BOB!!!” “BOB!!!!!!” “BOB HURRY UP!!!!” Then we start laughing so hard because we can tell he’s almost flinching from our yelling. So then we are done and leave (but we only pretend to walk out). We make the stepping noises and associated air movement noises for two people leaving, let the door close, but we silently stay in. So we wait like 5 seconds, then turn the light off. Now it’s PITCH BLACK because there are no windows. Still we stay completely motionless, then can't help to start giggling, then ask Bob how he is going to wipe since he can’t see. We wait another 15 seconds to agonize him, then leave. Pretty funny.

Of course, until we run into Bob in the store. DOH!!

Boy did we hightail it out of there!

Unknown "Confuzedddd" Uncertain - 16 years, 2 months ago