Journal of a kitty sniper....day five continued

Stunned by my luck it takes a moment before I recover but once I do I survey the scene...there are all sorts of animals unloading and different entertainers are getting set up for their acts. There are all sorts of people and the neighbors are creating quite a crowd...now would be the perfect chance!

I spot a group of clowns all colorfully dressed with all sorts of makeup on their faces...

OF COURSE!!!! I could be a clown...quickly I dive into the camo dyes...red face with yellow dots...blue tail...yellow and red stripes down the side...I look into the mirror

HIDEOUS!!!

Ah well it would have to do...quickly I grab my gun and sling it around my neck and take off down the stairs and out the cat door...I see my nemesis the dog being led by leash to the circus as well....and he's wearing a tutu? What the heck is it with this master and all the outfits?! At least dress him like a guy!

I shake off the temptation to spare the dog and just shoot the owner and stop behind a ballon tank to take aim. I lift the gun off my neck and put it between my teeth for a moment to look around....

That is when this female clown shrieks....OH LOOK A CUTE LITTLE CLOWN KITTY!!!!!!

Before you know it I am being scooped up, dropping my gun in the fray...I attempt to struggle and free myself but as I look down to find my gun I see it has already been claimed by some mischievous monkey...where the heck did HE come from? He tips his hat and runs off into the crowd.

My captor the clown princess seems not to notice or care...she keeps talking about how hungry I must be and how thirsty...she takes me to her tent and feeds me takoyaki and something called vodka....

my throat is on fire and I think I am about to die when suddenly there is a great big BOOM!!!!!!!

Jumping clean out of my fur, eyes big as milk saucers I look around..

The clown princess shrieks again...OOOO Good!!! There starting the human cannonball show!!!!!

CANNON? I smile a great big kitty smile....this day just got a little better!


Unknown "Super Kitty" Tired - 16 years, 11 months, 17 days ago

Journal of a kitty sniper...day five

Frustration consumed me over the past four days...my hatred grew stronger for my nemesis...every time I set up in the window, he was watching...I have to find a new spot.

As luck would have it, a member of the united kitties front has left me some camo dye to use today..I eagerly tear into the box with my claws and pull out the tubes....

red...blue...yellow...

WTF? Well if the circus is ever in town I'll be ready......

Wait what is that sound?

**drums** **pipe organs** **cymbals**

**looks out the window**

"well I'll be damned! A circus! and its stopping right outside the house!

(to be continued)
Unknown "Super Kitty" Tired - 16 years, 11 months, 27 days ago

Journal of a kitty sniper....day uh...hmmm....day one again

I am not sure what happened.

THe last thing I remember was that stupid dog, dressed as a stupid elf giving me cat treats for Christmas. I was stunned, I remember that but then I decided to open the bag and check out my Christmas loot. At first I was bored...typical toys...wand...feather....ball with bell in it (ring ring - I had to try it once)....mouse....

But wait what is that smell coming from that mouse?

AS I dug more frantically in the bag I found several of these sweet, amazing smelling mice along with a bigger bag of something extraordinary...soon I was in heaven! The colors, the sights! The sounds! And then all went black.

When I woke up I found myself flat on my back with a ribbon tied around my tail and a mouse head sticking out of my mouth. Mr wiggles is doing something unmentionable to Mr. Potato Head (how did THAT get in with my kitty toys?) and my wiskers feel like they are stuck together....

I go to move and the pian shoots through my head.....me-owwwwwww! I stumble to the window and pull back...even my cat eyes can't adjust to the bright sheering light that is penetrating the room. Finally after what seems like forever I am able to try again. I crawl to the window and pull myself up to peer outside...I smack my head against the window once or twice but after my eyes do finally catch up I look down and see that stupid dog looking up. They he breaks down, rolling all around the ground laughing at me!

GRRRRRRRRRR...HISS HISSSSSSSS

I remember my rifle and panic...searching through the pile of toys I pray I didn't do anything stupid with it....baby kitty...toss...mrs snookums...toss....big red plushy balls ...toss toss....mr wiggles...tosss

GASP!

Running to retrieve Mr. wiggles I resume my search and find the assult rifle lying unmolested. Quickly I come back to the window...push the nose out of the hole in the screen that I had so cleverly made and take aim...

Only he wasn't there......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Unknown "Super Kitty" Tired - 16 years, 12 months, 1 day ago

Journal of a kitty sniper...day four continued

Stashing my assult rifle under a huge pile of kitty toys I have ammassed over the years I sigh. Looking to Mr. Wiggles my favorite squeaky I ask out of frustration..."How Long Mr. Wiggles? How long will I have to wait?"

Suddenly I hear a bumbling sound coming up the stairs. That monstrosity can't be coming upstairs!

I look about frantically, looking for a box or bag to crawl into and hide, or an open drawer or anything when suddenly the door flies open and there standing before me is that mangy dog in that stupid elf suit standing there with toungue hanging out of one side of his mouth and something else hanging from the other......

What is that? A kitty stocking? For me? Hesitantly he approaches me and cautiously drops the stocking filled with kitty toys at my feet. He braves a look back up at me when he realizes I am too shocked to nail him in the eyes or nose again he quickly licks me in the face and bolts out the door and down the steps back to his owner's protective arms.

For a full two minutes I stand there, totally unable to move from the shock I am under. When I finally get my senses back I look to Mr. Wiggles and ask "What the hell?"...glancing out the window I see the two of them and their stupid elf suits moving on down the street....

A Christmas present for me? From him? Well played, mangy mutt...well played...it will probably get him to the new year.....
Unknown "Super Kitty" Tired - 16 years, 12 months, 4 days ago

Journal of a kitty sniper....day four

For two days I waited for the mangy mutt to appear outside. Take him for a walk, let him do his business, throw the thing outside to the cold world for all I cared...just give me the shot! Suddenly there it was! And on Christmas to boot! Oh what a gift! I heard the door open and then that eye gouging annoying yapping he does next. I raised my gun keeping my paws steady when.......

He appears on a leash being led by his owner...the two of them dressed in matching elf suits!!!!!

I laughed so hard I almost dropped my assult rifle. Poor thing, this will be a mercy kill. I raised my gun again but it was too late...they had already made it past my line of sight! Blast and Bah Humbug!!!!

Suddenly the doorbell rings and I hear that blasted yapping downstairs....you have got to be joking!..................................
Unknown "Super Kitty" Tired - 17 years, 3 days ago