Just a note to everyone, it was very fun being on HP but all good things come to an end!
Please feel free to contact me lorenzod@canada.com
Lor "★ Irishes pet" Intrigued - 397 days, 15 minutes ago

A greek and an Italian!!!

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day
discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek guy says,
"Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies,
"We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks
gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Italian, nodding agreement, says,
"But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on, until the Greek comes up with
what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That may be true,
but it was Italians who introduced it to women!"

Lor "★ Irishes pet" Intrigued - 494 days, 17 hours, 47 minutes ago

Great Sex

The Jewish man said, 'Last week my wife and I had

Great sex when I rubbed her body all over with

Schmaltz (chicken fat) and we made passionate love and

She screamed for five full minutes at the end.'

The Frenchman boasted, 'Last week when my wife and I

Had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter and We

Made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen

Minutes.'

The Italian man said, ,Well last week my wife and I

Also had sex and I rubbed her body all over with olive

Oil and we made love and she screamed for over six

Hours.'

The other two were stunned and the amazed Frenchman

Asked, 'What could you have possibly done to make your

Wife scream for six hours?'

The Italian man said, 'I wiped my hands on the bedspread.'
Lor "★ Irishes pet" Intrigued - 499 days, 22 hours, 5 minutes ago

WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS!!

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter. I'm 41, my husband is 44, and the neighbor's daughter is 22.

We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

******************************
Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Walter

Lor "★ Irishes pet" Intrigued - 562 days, 19 hours, 56 minutes ago