Lately been getting that feeling that my life is part of a movie or story. Creepy. I don't know if I like the idea or not, but I do not seem to be the star. My ego takes a hit on that, but the rest of me relishes the notion that all the hardships are about to befall whoever the main character is, and not me.
Little message to whoever's writting this: I don't need to be the main character, but a few good lines every once in a while would be awesome

Unknown "A bad mutha" Intrigued - 15 years, 9 months, 19 days ago

I know that I should only focus on the day ahead of me. There's a good reason for it too. If I start to look at my life in its entirety, there comes a certain horror at working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. That's 40 hours a week, plus the half hour there, half hour back makes it 45. Then we get into all of the time spent getting around work. I can't just wake up and go, I have other things to do and with the schedule that they have me on, I have to do them before I go to work, not after. So, let's say that I'm now spending more time getting things done around work. Add another 5 hours week on, which is low balling it, but whatever. So 50 out of 168 hours are me attending to work or work related needs. Say I sleep 6 hours a night (about average), 42 hours. That leaves about 76 hours for me to do what I like in any givin week. Nearly 11 hours a day, on average. So where does the time go? Oh, wait! I forgot about the time I spend on weekends just seeing people I like and continuing to connect to the society I am part of. Seeing as the only time I really have is on the weekends, that puts us at another 20 hours. Now down to 56 per week, about 8 per day. Add in errands and just a general getting things done, 14 hours, gets us down to 42. 6 hours a day. How the hell are me and my wife going to raise a family on 6 hours a day?
Answer: I am never going to bitch about this sort of shit again
Unknown "A bad mutha" Intrigued - 15 years, 10 months, 13 days ago

I would like to be able to sing. Not at a professional level, just better than I can currently. People tell me that, with practice, I will get better.
But I want it now and without effort like some of the luckier bastards out there...you know who you are.
Unknown "A bad mutha" Intrigued - 16 years, 1 month, 26 days ago

I think constantly that these tales tell too much about me. It gets to the point that I am near unwilling to tell anything true about myself in order to avoid the horror of truth.

Then I remember that there is no real way to avoid truth. Just acceptance and the eventual moving on are all that's required.
Unknown "A bad mutha" Intrigued - 16 years, 2 months, 18 days ago

Try as I might, the number of people who tend to remind me of the fact that I am not loved in this city is near staggering.
It would be enough to depress me, indeed it has before, but I am determined. I will walk through this with a head held high and an ego that slaps back. It must happen, I would be lost on seas of uselessness otherwise...and that will not happen again.
Unknown "A bad mutha" Intrigued - 16 years, 3 months, 5 days ago