If I dont look at myself
Then who will? And if you can follow this train, then by all means do... cause I am ranting.
Perhaps I am a bit vain but I do truly like the way I look. I think the pic I took was one of the more original ones, and I strive by the fact that this was an attempt to share myself, and not one of those oops, you caught me candids that seem to be on myspace.
Am I the best looking person ever? Absolutely not. Am I hard on the eyes? I dont know. Should ugly people make art about themselves? If they are expressing themselves then why not. What really is beautiful? Is it just easy on the eyes? Is it someone that can carry a conversation or one that gestures and wiggles the jiggly parts to make you forget that you are trying to have a serious talk?
I may never find that one. I have been blinded by a lot of jiggle and flash, pizazz. When they tell you that there is someone for everyone, that is an age old expression that is old. Today is more about youth and how to get to it. I read an article that should have been borderline pedophilia on how Miley Cyrus wants to get naked for a role. Shes fucking 15. Britney Spears' sister had a kid and she gets on the cover of People. Shes fucking 15.
Granted, in the old days, girls used to get pregnant earlier, married earlier, but thats cause peoples expectancy was 50 years old. Now we have things called mid life crisis, when 40 year old men go ape shit, and women start fucking the pool boy. Mid life crisis is going to be 50 by the time any of my generation hits it. People are living longer, yet anything before 25 is considered gold right now.
The invent of the TV disconnected people from the real world. Why should I fuck slomo and get committed to this douche bag when really there is a guy miles away that will sweep me off my feet? The internet disconnected us more when we were able to instantly multimedia them. There is their face, there is their words and I can hear their voice.
Globalization of romance means that instead of a select few to choose from, you have a world of possibilites to choose from. And just like the salad bar, we go back for 2nds, 3rds and even 4ths from that. This person is whom I want to be with for the rest of my life... oh shit, he got old. Well, lets go check myspace and see if I can find someone else younger, and make me feel better about myself.
What needs to happen is that church and law need to merge together. If I was a lawyer, I would become an ordained minister as well. I would marry people, and then pass both of the newlyweds my card for my law offices and then wink and say "Just in case".
Because Just In Case happens way too often. And why? Because people are not thinking thru the situation and they are also thinking about that salad bar. There is no longer that idea that if I choose a mate, a person, a soul to live with for the rest of my life, he/she will take care of me. Its more like well fuck, if this doesnt work out, I have options. That secretary is looking kind of hot. Or that guy from HR has got a tight body.
And that is the reasoning of this world. We have become visual and not so much connecting with what really matters. And when we do, its too late. I imagine that the suicide rate is going to go even more up in say about 10 more years. When people start realizing they are no longer THE generation. Baby boomers had their time, and now they are collecting the Social Security they so rightfully raped.
We are the children of the children that fought world wars. We are the children of the people that disposable became an every day word. And now we are going to have to be left with the trash, yet we learned from our parents that we may as well keep on disposing. Lets dispose of committment. Lets dispose of responsibility. Lets dispose of morals. We made disposable more than just a word, its now fashionable.
Why should I love my husband? He is a douchebag, I want to sue.
Why should I love my wife? Her tits sag and that secretary is banging!
Why should I actually care for my friends? They are too much to deal with.
Fuck what others say, I am out for mine because this world never gave me much and fuck them if they say anything.
ME
ME
ME
ME
Thats all I hear. Compassion is dead. No one helps unless there is a reward. And that is sad. There is no romance unless there is physical attraction. And that is sad. Because physical will degrade, even mental and emotional will degrade, but when I look at my parents, and my grandparents, and see people that genuinely love each other for 30 years plus, I cant help be envious. And realize that time has passed.
Most people have a divorce. Most people havent even gotten married because its a bad establishment. And really, I think its because committment is too tough a pill to swallow. There is a whole world to look at. Options are available. Younger, "better" options are available. Until we get too old and become forgotten. Which is why suicides will increase.
Not me tho, I enjoy myself, and I guess that sounds creepy, but I am now at a point where I think I can start having fun. I dont pay attention to the stupid punk that makes off color comments, what the fuck does he know? I dont pay attention to the attention whores that scream look at me, I have tits. I am going to work on not getting worked up about shit that is beyond my control, and not fly off the handle cause I dont feel its wrong in that instant. I am going to try and pause, and catch my breath and a thought, then think it thru. And if it takes time, it takes time, but its ok, it will potentially be worth the wait. And I am going to stop looking at peoples physical attributes and give them the merit they deserve based on actions and words.
Which is why when I look at myself, I know I have faults, I know I have strengths, but the overall fact that I am still living is the main part. Even if no one else is looking, I still exist.
Unknown "Gorgeous Eyes " Adventurous
- 16 years, 1 month, 29 days ago
