where did i come from?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Child: Dad, where did I come from ?

Dad: OK, we had to have this conversation some day! Dad and Mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with your Mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafe. Then, Mom did some downloads from Dad's memory stick and when Dad was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall. Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. Nine months later, the damn virus appeared !

Child: Huh ??
Unknown Frisky - 16 years, 5 months, 4 days ago

The sky was dark
the moon was high
all alone just her and I

Her hair so soft
her eyes so blue
I knew just what she wanted to do

Her skin so soft
her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine

I didn't know how
but I tried my best
to place my hand on her breast

I remember my fear
my fast beating heart
but slowly she spread her legs apart

And when she did
I felt no shame
as all at once the white stuff came

At last it was finished
it's all over now,
my first time... milking a cow.
Unknown Frisky - 16 years, 5 months, 7 days ago

Can't Find 'Em Dumber Than This

A mangy redneck youth walks into the kitchen where his mom is fixing that night's dinner. "Mom, I got a splinter in my finger. Can I have a glass of cider?" asks the slack-jawed youth.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pull it out?"

"No thanks, just the cider."

"Well, sure," responds the youth's mother and gives her boy the cider and watches him trot off contentedly.

About 15 minutes later the boy returns to the kitchen and again asks him mother for a glass of cider. His mother, not wanting to question his reasoning, gives him another glass and again watches him leave happily.

Ten minutes later the boy returns and once again asks for a glass of cider. The mother complies with her son's wishes again, but her curiosity has been piqued to the point where she can't resist knowing why any longer. She wanders into the family room and sees her son sitting in front of the TV with his finger in the glass.

"Why on earth do you have your finger in that glass?" asks the boy's mother.

"Well, mom, I heard sis on the phone say that whenever she had a prick in her hand, she couldn't wait to get it in cider."
Unknown Frisky - 16 years, 5 months, 23 days ago

Chuck Up One For The Little Guy

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.

The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.

Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy.

He can't hold it in any longer and throws up all over the big guy's chest.

About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.

"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Unknown Frisky - 16 years, 5 months, 23 days ago

Roadside Steam

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate.

They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.

Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside.

All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window.

The cop could hardly contain himself.

"Didn't you know that you are not suppose to be having sex in public?" he asked the couple.

Being embarrassed at being caught, they said yes and apologized.

"Well," the cop said, "I will have to write you a ticket."

So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior.

After getting dressed, the girlfriend asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.

Her boyfriend replied, "Doing 69 in a 35 zone."
Unknown Frisky - 16 years, 5 months, 23 days ago