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Unknown
Unknown owns this human at 13947 points.
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Sexy
Unknown
Unknown
"MY matt >:)"



Name:
Unknown
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
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Herds: The Veggie Herd, NAUGHTY PETS ;), NOT H, The J-Licious Jungle
Lazy
Unknown
Unknown
"Nice~Niks"
40000 pts
Seductive
Unknown
Unknown
"Hot Stuff"
7500 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"the ghost"
4500 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"miss taylor"
200 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"The Magical ?"
50 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"Faye!"
50 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"The Eye"
50 pts

Unknown
Unknown
"HHH"
50 pts
Unknown's tales
Unknown

Michael invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Michael's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Michael and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Michael and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Michael volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Joanne came to Michael and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Joanne said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Joanne, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Joanne. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
Unknown "MY matt >:)" Sexy - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago
Unknown
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say �Happy Birthday,� and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say �Good Morning,� alone any �Happy Birthday.� I thought, �Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.� The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, �Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.� And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, �You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me.

I said, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?�

I said, �No, I guess not.� She said, Let's go to my apartment.�

After arriving at her apartment she said, Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.�

Sure, I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

All were singing Happy Birthday and
there on the couch I sat... naked.
Unknown "MY matt >:)" Sexy - 16 years, 9 months, 25 days ago
Unknown
A short story

After all these years, grandma still had a face that could take a punch.

by matt winter
Unknown "MY matt >:)" Sexy - 16 years, 10 months, 22 days ago
Unknown
The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:

Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face -- miles and miles of face -- of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.

Multivac was self-adjusting and self-correcting. It had to be, for nothing human could adjust and correct it quickly enough or even adequately enough -- so Adell and Lupov attended the monstrous giant only lightly and superficially, yet as well as any men could. They fed it data, adjusted questions to its needs and translated the answers that were issued. Certainly they, and all others like them, were fully entitled to share In the glory that was Multivac's.

For decades, Multivac had helped design the ships and plot the trajectories that enabled man to reach the Moon, Mars, and Venus, but past that, Earth's poor resources could not support the ships. Too much energy was needed for the long trips. Earth exploited its coal and uranium with increasing efficiency, but there was only so much of both.

But slowly Multivac learned enough to answer deeper questions more fundamentally, and on May 14, 2061, what had been theory, became fact.

The energy of the sun was stored, converted, and utilized directly on a planet-wide scale. All Earth turned off its burning coal, its fissioning uranium, and flipped the switch that connected all of it to a small station, one mile in diameter, circling the Earth at half the distance of the Moon. All Earth ran by invisible beams of sunpower.

Seven days had not sufficed to dim the glory of it and Adell and Lupov finally managed to escape from the public function, and to meet in quiet where no one would think of looking for them, in the deserted underground chambers, where portions of the mighty buried body of Multivac showed. Unattended, idling, sorting data with contented lazy clickings, Multivac, too, had earned its vacation and the boys appreciated that. They had no intention, originally, of disturbing it.

They had brought a bottle with them, and their only concern at the moment was to relax in the company of each other and the bottle.

"It's amazing when you think of it," said Adell. His broad face had lines of weariness in it, and he stirred his drink slowly with a glass rod, watching the cubes of ice slur clumsily about. "All the energy we can possibly ever use for free. Enough energy, if we wanted to draw on it, to melt all Earth into a big drop of impure liquid iron, and still never miss the energy so used. All the energy we could ever use, forever and forever and forever."

Lupov cocked his head sideways. He had a trick of doing that when he wanted to be contrary, and he wanted to be contrary now, partly because he had had to carry the ice and glassware. "Not forever," he said.

"Oh, hell, just about forever. Till the sun runs down, Bert."

"That's not forever."

"All right, then. Billions and billions of years. Twenty billion, maybe. Are you satisfied?"

Lupov put his fingers through his thinning hair as though to reassure himself that some was still left and sipped gently at his own drink. "Twenty billion years isn't forever."

"Will, it will last our time, won't it?"

"So would the coal and uranium."

"All right, but now we can hook up each individual spaceship to the Solar Station, and it can go to Pluto and back a million times without ever worrying about fuel. You can't do THAT on coal and uranium. Ask Multivac, if you don't believe me."


Unknown "MY matt >:)" Sexy - 16 years, 11 months, 15 days ago
Comments

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Unknown
Same to you. =)
You have been given A fallen angel to look upon you..
Crafted by Unknown
Unknown "El Gato Princesa" Sad - 16 years, 6 months, 14 days ago
Unknown

You have been given A Surprise Kiss.
Crafted by
Unknown "El Gato Princesa" Sad - 16 years, 6 months, 27 days ago
Unknown

You have been given hhmm Hot Dog.
Crafted by
Unknown "Tantalizing" Ribbed For Your Pleasure - 16 years, 7 months, 16 days ago
Unknown
hope the 2000 helps.. take care
Unknown "Hot Lady NFS" waiting for my Knight - 16 years, 7 months, 16 days ago
Unknown
little summut for ya
You have been given Guitar Hero 2 controller!.
Crafted by
Unknown Lazy - 16 years, 9 months, 8 days ago
CharmingDirtbox
Thanks for the bid, instead of thumbing i bought several items from your shop!!!! xxx
CharmingDirtbox "Minxy" Wild - 16 years, 9 months, 12 days ago
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Unknown's shop
Matts Den of Inebriation

Jut for fun!

Techno Kitty
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Csci Inspection
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500 pts
Sitar Hero For Wii
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Sybian
1 use

400 pts
Sybian
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