THREES

Three Things That Scare Me:
life
pain
butter

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
Stacy
Bill Bailey
Will Ferrell

Three Things I Love:
Family
Sleep
Boobs

Three Things I Hate:
Meat
Pricks
Boredom

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
Why I am such a prick at times
How people can believe in ridiculous things like religion
Why people fancy Eva Longoria - i just don't get it

Three Things On My Desk:
my credit card
some high juice
old photos i want to scan

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
Writing this
drinking my juice
dreaming I'm riding on the back of a dragon

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
Get the siblings where they want to go
stop being so fucking scared of everything
be really good at something

Three Things I Can Do:
piss people off
cook
say something highly inappropriate at the worst time

Three Things I Can’t Do:
be completely frank with someone
trust anyone
put on liquid eyeliner without making my eyes water mud

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
the wise man in the corner of the pub - he's called John
your siblings - they are always truthful
Karl Pilkington

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
Virgin Radio - they only have 5 songs on their playlist
your parents - they haven't got a clue
people on the phone - just text

Three Things I’d Like To Learn (but won’t):
the piano
Italian
pole dancing

Three Favourite Foods:
rolls
sweets
soup

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
Fraggle Rock
Knightmare
Gladiators

Unknown "Pixxxie" Timid - 16 years, 6 months, 15 days ago

Blockbusters gone porn!

#
20,000 Legs Under the Sea
2002: A Sex Odyssey
28 Gays Later
28 Lays
40 Gays and 40 Dykes
8 Mile Cock


A
A Beautiful Grind
A Clockwork Orgy
A Few Hard Men
A Fistful of Penis
A Lad In
A League of their Moan
A Midsummer Night's Cream
A Penile Action
A Penis Runs Through It
A Rear and Present Danger
A Tale of Two Titties
Alice in Penisland
All Hands on Dick
Ally McFeel
Almost Anus
American Booty
American History XXX
An Officer and a Genitalman
Angela's Asses
Anus the Menace
Apollo 69
Armaget-it-on
Ass Ventura: Smut Detective
Assablanca
Austin Prowler


B
Backseat Confidential
Ball the President's Men
Bang Her Sisters
Barbara's Bush
Bat Dude and Throbin
Battlestar Orgasmica
Be Inside Her
Beauty and the Bitch
Beaver and Buttface
Beaver Juice
Beetle's Juice
Ben-Hur Over
Benny in June
Between the Cheeks
Beverly Hills 9021-Ho!
Beverly Hills Cock
Bi-Curious George
Bi-Dazzled
Big Trouble in Little Vagina
Bitches of Eat-Wick
Black Cock Down
Boldfinger
Bone Alone
Bonfire of the Panties
Booty and the Beast
Bridget Jones' Hairy
Bruce Allmeaty
Buffy the Vampire Layer
Butch Lesbian and the Lapdance Kid


C
Charlie's Anals
City Of Anals
Cliff Banger
Close Encounters of the Sperm Kind
Cockodile Dun-me
Colonel Angus
Confessions of a Candystriper
Coo-coo for Cocoa Cocks
Cool Bummings
Crimson Ride
Crocodile Blondee
Crouching Penis, Hidden Vagina
Cum and Cummer
Cum Lola Cum
Cum to Drink of It
Cumming to America
Cunt Hardly Wait


D
Das Booty
Dawson's Crack
Deep End With Some Lotion
Deep Impact
Desperately Seeking Semen
Dial M for Missionary
Diddle-her on the Roof
Dickman and Throbbin' Hood
Dickman Forever
Dildo Baggins: Lord of the Wangs
Dog-style Afternoon
Doing John Malkovich
Done In 60 Seconds
DP2: The Mighty Phucks
Driving It Into Ms. Daisy
Driving Miss Daisy (Into The Headboard)
Dude, Where's My Dildo?
Dude, Where's My G-spot?
Dun-Hur


E
E-3: The Extra Testicle
Edward Penishands
Ejacula
Emission Possible
Enema of the State
Erection
Erectnophobia
ET: The Extra Testicle
Everybody Does Raymond


F
Fast Times At Deep Crack High
Fatal Erection
Feeling Forrester
Ferris Bueller Gets Off
Field of Reams
Fill Bill
Final Penetration
Flashpants: Cop a Feeling
Flesh Gordon
Florence Hump
For a Few Inches More
For Your Thighs Only
Foreskin Gump
Forrest Hump
Free Will Humping
Free Your Willy
Frisky Business


G
Gang Bang Princess
Gangbangs of New York
Genital Hospital
Ghosthustlers
Ghostlusters
Glad-he-ate-her
Gonad the Barbarian
Good Will Humping
Great Sexpectations
Guess Who Came At Dinner


H
Hairy Movie
Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerer's Bone
Harry Potter in Hermione's Chamber of Secrets
Hairy Potter Made the Philosopher Moan
Halloween: ResERECTION
Hannah Does Her Sisters
Happy Getsmore
Harry's Hotter with the Philospher's Bone
Hi Infidelity
Homo Alone
Honey, I Blew Everybody!
Honey, I Fucked The Kids!
Horny Python and the Bony Tail
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
How to Screw a Guy in Ten Minutes
Howard Sperm's Private Parties
Howard the Fuck
Hung Wankenstein
Hump Up The Volume
Humping From the Back at Notre Dame


I
I Cream on Jeannie
I Know Who You Did Last Summer
In Da Pants Day
In Diana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Box
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon
Inrearendence Day
Independence Gay
Indepoondence Day
Indiana Joan and the Temple of Poon
Inspect-Her-Gadget
Intercourse With a Vampire
Interview With a Vibrator
Invasion of the Booby Snatchers


J
Jack/Off
Joannie Pneumatic
Juranal Park
Jurassic Pork


K
King Dong
Kingdom Cum


L
Laid in Manhattan
Lap Dances with Wolves
Lawrence of a Labia
Legally Blown
Legs Wide Open
License To Thrill
Little Oral Annie
Little Orphan Anal
Lord of the Cock Rings
Lord of the G-strings
Lord of the Rims
Lord of the Ringpiece
Lust of the Mohicans


M
Mad Jack: Beyond Thunderbone
Malcolm XXX
Mating for Guffman
Meat Joe Black
Meat the Parents
Men In Back
Men In Fuck
Miami Spice
Mighty Joe Bung
Mighty Joe Hung
Mighty Joe Schlung
Miracle on 69th Street
Mission Erotica
Missionary Impossible
Moulin Splooge
My Big Fat Greek Cock
Murphy's Brown
Mutiny on the Booty


N
Natural Born Thrillers
Night of the Giving Head
Nurse Wetty
NYPD Goo


O
Oh Brother, Who Fuck Thou?
Oh Cum on Ye Faces
Oh She's Eleven
Oklahomo!
On Golden Blonde
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Breast
One Spewed Over the Cuckoo's Nest


P
Phallus in Wonderland
Picnic at Hanging Cock
Piledriving Miss Daisy
Pimped By An Angel
Playmate of the Apes
Pleasure Planet
Pleasureville
Pocahotass
Poke-'em All: The Movie
Politically Erect
Poltergash
Porn on the Fourth of July
Pornochio
Position Impossible
Pulp Friction
Pump Friction
Pumping Irene


Q
Queer and Present Danger


R
Raiders Of The Lost Arse
Rambone
Rambutt
Rawshank Redemption
Rear and Pleasant Danger
Rebel Without a Condom
Regarding Hiney
Remember the Tightuns'
Reservoir Bitches
Riding Miss Daisy
Romancing the Bone
Romeo in Juliet
Rosemary's Booby


S
Saturday Night Beaver
Saving Ryan's Privates
Schindler's Fist
Schindler's Lust
School of Hard Cocks
Screw The Right Thing
Scrotal Recall
Sgt. Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gangbang
Servicing Sara
Sex Toy Story
Sex Trek: Penetrations
Sex with the City
Sexcalibur
Shake My Spear, I'm In Love
Shavers of the Lost Ass
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Sheepless in Montana
Sheets Of San Francisco
Sin-derella
Sleazy rider
Sleeping With Seattle
Snatch
Snatch Adams
Snatch Me If You Can
Snoopy Cum Home
Snow White and the Seven Inches
Sorest Rump
South Pork
Sperms of Endearment
Splatman
Splendor In The Ass
Sex Trek: The Next Penetration
Star Whores
Star Whores: Return Of The One-Eye
Star Whores: The Empire Likes Back
Swallow Hal


T
Tailiens
Tales from the Clit
The Air Down There
The Bare Bitch Project
The Bare Wench Project
The Bitches of Madison County
The Bootyguard
The Cock
The Cum of all Queers
The Dirty Dozen Inches
The Dominatrix Unloaded
The Empire Strokes Black
The Flintbones
The Fuckulty
The Genital's Daughter
The Great Muppet Raper
The Horny-Mooners
The Humpback of Nasty Dames
The Hung and the Breastless
The Hunt for Head-all-over
The Hunt for Miss October
The Iron Giant Vibrator
The Joy Suck Club
The Load Warrior
The Loin King
The Long Ranger
The Lust Picture Show
The Maddam's Family
The Majesdick
The Nads-u-ate
The Naked Bun
The Next Penetration
The Object of My Erection
The Ozporns
The Pink Mile
The Poonies
The Porn Birds
The Pourne Identity
The Replacement Drillers
The Reproducers
The Rocky Porno Video Show
The Rodfather
The Screwman Show
The Sexorcist
The Sixth Inch
The Slutty Professor
The Sopornos
The Sperminator
The Talented Mr. Lickme
The Texas Dildo Masquerade
The Touchables
The White Stuff
The Whole Nine Inches
The Whore of the Worlds
The XXX Files
The Yeastmaster
The Young and the Breastless
There's Something In and Out of Mary
Thighs Wide Open
Thighs Wide Shut
Thighs Wide Slut
Three Men and Some Gravy
Three Men on a Lady
Throbbin Hood
Thrust Hour
Tight Club
Tits a Wonderful Life
Titty Slickers
Titty Titty Bang Ba
Unknown "Pixxxie" Timid - 16 years, 8 months, 2 days ago

ANOTHER QUIZ STOLEN FROM BAZ :L

1. up urs fatty!
get tae fuck

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat?
The Croft with ma wee lady

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Mint Choc Bailey's - yum

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?
Lips - mmm

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Fine Art - creativity is the key

6. Best kind of pizza?
I lika the dominos

7. Is your bedroom window open?
yes, so the escorts can come in

8. What is in store for your future?
pain, anguish and tea

9. Who was the last band you saw live?
Arcade Fire

10. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
Doubt they'd let me - look after the siblings though - bless

11. What is your favorite soda?
Dr Pepper at the mo

12. How many songs are on your iTunes?
a trillion

13. When was the last time you purchased something over $500?
contributed about that much to a funeral :(

14. Where is the last place you drove to?
To pick up the lazy sister

15. Are you experienced?
oh aye ;)

16. Any historical figures that you envy?
Marilyn Monroe had a enviable figure

17. What brand of digital camera do you own?
a shite one

18. When was the last time you got a good workout?
earlier walking the pooch

19. If you need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first?
Topshop jeans seem to cater to my shape

20. Where did your last kiss take place?
my bed - the dog gave me a frenchie

21. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
working nightshift

22. Are you a quitter?
aye

23. Who was the last person you had in your house?
my pa

24. Can you speak another language?
i can speak a little french - i know all the swear words thanks to Marc :)

25. How about put your legs behind your head?
Ayep - yoga

26. When was the last time you went dancing while under the influence?
a few minutes ago - and whit?

27. Nickname?
Rumpelstiltskin, The Weasel, BarbourC, Cow, Morph, Fanny Adams, Babs

28. Describe what you are wearing in detail?
a dressing gown

29. What do you think about people who party a lot?
not much - pish question

30. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
i like making others uncomfortable with talk of sex

31. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister?
emm

32. What was the last CD you purchased?
Romeo and Juliet soundtrack

33. What are two bands or singers that you will alwys love?
Led Zeppellin and Margarita Pragitan

34. What of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
Lust

35. Did you just have to google the seven deadly sins to see what they were?
no i practice all 7

36. Where is your favorite place to get coffee?
Amna's starbucks

37. Have you ever been offered a job?
ayep

38. Have you ever stolen anything off of a road?
a dead pigeon

39. When was the last time you dyed your hair?
2 weeks ago

40. Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
The Stace

41. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?
ayep

42. Miss someone?
oh yep

43. How is your last ex doing?
probably raping a tourist

44. Is there someone you want to fight?
aye - angela lansbury - she's a twat
Unknown "Pixxxie" Timid - 16 years, 8 months, 14 days ago

LIFE

I want to live my next life backwards :

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School : drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.


Unknown "Pixxxie" Timid - 16 years, 8 months, 17 days ago

Some mince about moi

1. Where's #1 on your top 8?
Paris - it's so chic

2. What is your favorite possession?
my dog - she does forward rolls

3. Do you own a gun?
course

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
you were shite

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
aye - i'm scared he'll find my penis

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
there should be more veggie ones available - fuck sake

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
"Christmas sucks Donkey Dick" by Claire Barbour

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
tea or whisky

9. Can you do push ups?
aye 2 or 3

10. Is your bathroom clean?
sparkling

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
my cock ring

12. Do you take painkillers?
yep - tasty

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
my earlobes

14. Do you have A.D.D.? [Attention Deficit Disorder]?
nah - im just rude

15. Whats your name?
the weasel

16. Middle Name(s)?
bob

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. i am cold
2. wonder where that escort is
3. what would my menu on masterchef be

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
1. pint
2. shampoo
3. escort

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. tea
2. beer
3. diet irn bru

20. Last movie watched?
Wolf Creek - grim

21. Number 1 fear?
life

22. Current worry?
do I need to get up tomorrow?

23. Current hate?
butter

24. Favorite place to be?
my bed

26. Where would you like to go?
asda for sweets

27. Do you own slippers?
aye - ones with claws

28. What shirt are you wearing?
im wearing my yellow jumpsuit

30. Favorite color(s)?
black and white - diggin the monchrome look

31. Would you be a pirate?
aye if the wages are good

32. Are you gay?
I'd say more straight with a twist

33. Do you sing in the shower?
Maneater by Nelly Retardo - every time

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
my sister

35. Current craving?
beer

36. Superman, Spiderman, or Batman?
Superman - he's my pal

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
i don't know, clean ones?

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
when my wee brother stuck a fork in my tb scar - wee rat

39. Are you currently in school?
yep - 14th year

40. Who is your most favorite person at the moment?
my imaginary friend Callum

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Sahar - she's a riot

42. Who is your most silent friend?
Callum

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
doubtful - i'm made of plasticine

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
no, I just ask Satan for a favour

45. What is your favorite film?
Amelie or Debbie does Dallas

46. What is your favorite candy?
rhubard and custard chews always win

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
"i put a spell on you" - nina simone

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"i don't feel like dancing" - scissor sisters

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
talking pish and annoying the wee man

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
not another day of misery
Unknown "Pixxxie" Timid - 16 years, 8 months, 22 days ago