This is the tale of my life leading up to when I was abandoned in some random woods in Japan. This is the tale of my life... before I was a ninja.

I was born on March 20th, 1989 to Fluffy and Boots McWhiskerson. They were the most loving parents a kitty could ever have. But when I turned 1 month old, I was adopted... I was ripped away from the warm lovingness of my parents by some fatass retard child.

The retard child abused me! It wasn't just physical abuse, but he also loved to toy with my emotions. Whenever I was hungry or thirsty, he would eat my food and drink my water. When I needed to go #1 or #2 he would use my litter box and make it SO dirty that I couldn't use it. Whenever I found a piece of string to play with, he would play with it himself. After a month of this torture I grew fed up and scratched both his eyes out and blinded him. The kid demanded I be killed, but his mother wouldn't allow it for she always did like me. She took me to some woods in Japan and told me:

"I'm really sorry to do this Snowball (that was my former name). I'm not getting rid of you for scratching my son's eyes out. Quite frankly, the little bastard deserved it. No, I'm getting rid of you for your own protection, for he has always been abusive towards animals. Goodbye Snowball... "

So that is how I winded up in the woods of Japan. Its a very sad tale, isn't it? :(
Unknown "MEAN !!" Feisty - 16 years, 11 months, 15 days ago

As a kitten, I was abandoned in some random woods in Japan. I was soon discovered and taken in by Dr. McNinja who raised me like his own kitten. When I became a full grown cat, he trained me as a ninja and I became his very own protege. After becoming proficient in martial arts Dr. McNinja sent me out on my very first mission...

Go to the store and get more cheeze-its! It was quite a difficult task. I had to:
1. Jump across the mile wide river of lava
2. Avoid being eaten by the man eating trees in the forest of terror
3. Defeat the nargles
4. Go to Michael Jackson's house, steal some money, and escape unmolested
5. Climb the mountain of doom and avoid being hit by the giant pieces of poo that fall from the sky.
6. Then I had to go inside the store, find the cheeze-its, give the cashier money, and leave...

... boy what a task. But I managed it!! And from that day forth, I was a full fledged ninja. So I departed from Dr. McNinja in order to pursue my own ninja-esque dreams. I was about to destroy Fall Out Boy at a concert of theirs, but when I heard Patrick Stump sing... I was inspired to be a rock star!! So I abandoned 18 years worth of ninja-ness and started playing the guitar and working on songs. And that brings me here to today... so yeah. :)
Unknown "MEAN !!" Feisty - 16 years, 11 months, 17 days ago