Hit AGAIN !

My car was hit at the rear again this morning. This was the THIRD *TOOT* TIME my car got mounted in the ass within the short span of 3 months…

This time, it happened smack dab in a traffic congestion. Apparently, the guy (driving a Honda City) was too busy trying to avert another car that was shoving into his lane illegally, and he rammed hard into my rear bumper when he fails to notice that everyone was braking. That was how his car mounted onto mine.

Being hit for so many times and taken its toll, my bumper finally registered a small hump at the top side this time. It was barely noticeable but it was there (though, I couldn’t help but notice that V- dub ( beetle ) indeed has a motherfucking tough rear bumper). And because it wasn’t really a serious damage, we decided not to get the police and insurance involved - the guy agreed to pay for whatever rework that needed to be done on my bumper. Case closed.

So as you can see, it was just another case of sheer rotten luck for me. I wasn’t even reckless. I’m not saying I haven’t been reckless before, but I’m saying - I tend to get into accidents for not the right reasons.

I wonder what the hell is going on here. Is it because my blessing has expired? Like a driving license… which needs to be renewed every 5 years? Perhaps. Or perhaps this is an advanced birthday gift from a much more sinister force…?
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 4 months, 1 day ago

Ok i think i follow Oji to blog at FB Notes application frm now on but i think i will post it here at HP also - mean while let me finished up my work 1st . You guys take care and have a happy sexy holiday
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 5 months, 22 days ago

beruk gatal

Saw this piece in the news today. Read it, it’s funny.

KEMAMAN: Villagers in Kampung Pangkalan Binjai here are not amused by the antics of a group of macaques which hassle only the women folk.

Frustrated villagers call the apes “beruk gatal” (cheeky apes) and are laying traps to catch them. The villagers said the monkeys had attacked eight women in recent months, apart from stealing food. They would flee when they see men.

The monkeys timed their invasion into the houses at hours when the men were out at work.

Grandmother Mariam Jusoh said the apes had tried to attack her several times and had destroyed many of her pineapple crop.

The 72-year-old said the animals were big and aggressive and they have sharp claws. Attempts to just shoo away the animals were futile. “These animals enter our homes and ransack for food, littering the kitchen floor,” she said.

A mother of three, Maimunah Hassan, 43, encountered these apes when she was returning home from a grocery shop last week.

She heard wolf whistles and turned around, assuming some youngsters were being rude.

“I was startled to see a group of apes heading toward me,” she related.

She started to run and the apes pursued her. She managed to enter the house without getting hurt.

Terengganu Wildlife and National Park director Rozidan Md Yasin said the department had received numerous complaints about these apes. “They are from the mangrove areas and jungles. The ones disturbing the women were probably once reared by humans. Once they are released back into the wild, they might look for women again, maybe because they were fed by women when held captive,” he said. [source]

Wolf whistle. I didn’t know apes can wolf-whistle. I wonder where did they learn that from. I guess it must be from their closest cousins, the Mat Rempits or perhaps some of the politicians that went on national tv some weeks back.

“Feeeewittttt! ouhh woo ooh uhuhu”.

Man, that had me in stitches.

Must be heck of a boner for that grandma who made this headline. I mean, she was expecting some ‘youngsters’ from that wolf whistle, but it turned out to be apes. I don’t think it would be flattering for most women when they pique interests from apes. I mean, can you imagine that? Some hairy shit monkey finds you attractive and would like to make you his wife? Goddamn!

And by the way, I don’t think ‘beruk gatal‘ should be translated as ‘cheeky monkey’… In my opinion, ‘cheeky’ is usually associated to insolent little tykes or cute petite girls. But when a group of monkeys wolf whistle a defenseless old woman, ‘horny monkeys’, or ‘lecherous apes’.

Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 7 months, 23 days ago

ThankyouforcallingCompanyXhowmayIhelpyou?

I made a phone call to Company X technical support hot line a few days ago, and was greeted by this douchebag who spoke super fucking fast in English…

“ThankyouforcallingCompanyXhowmayIhelpyou?”

That was the first line which I managed to grasp, but I was completely lost for the remaining of the conversation. I had to actually ask that douche some questions back to confirm what he said, and even that, I had to hard guess what he meant by spotting the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ along the torrent of high speed verbal machine gun.

And this wasn’t the first time I’ve encountered people like this douchebag here. I’ve met many fast food restaurant operators who spoke like that.

“GoodeveningsirhowmayIhelpyou?”
“Errr, one medium set of double cheese burger and a chocolate sundae please.”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“Errrmmm, having here, whatever”
“sirwehavefreecondomspromotionsifyouorderextrafriesblablablabla?”

WTF ?

Most of the time, I find these fast-speaking people incoherent - probably because the speed of their speech supersedes the time needed for their brain to think. Or perhaps, they have a brain too small to even think at all, and hence, the need to speak super ultra fast to confuse up the listener (I can’t think of a better explanation…) ( you tell me ? )
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 7 months, 28 days ago

security checkpoint

I had a visitor from USA today. He’s a big white guy that weights 315 lbs, towering at about 6 ft 3, with some really badass beard.

Alright, we were coming out from the workplace - where I had just finished showing him around the Medical facilities . As usual, we were required to go through a set of stringent procedure at the security checkpoint.

You know, like what they do in airports? Take out all your metal stuff, walk through the metal detector, if it beeps, those security guards are gonna manually scan you up with a handheld metal detector.

I got through and it was Keith’s ( his name ) turn. The metal detector went BEEEEP ! and he was asked to step up onto a slightly elevated wooden platform. A petite security housewife went ahead to scan him up with a handheld metal detector.

BEEEP! His boots beeped.

“That’s a metal safety boot.” Keith explained.

Security housewife continued to scan. Again, the metal detector went BEEEP! and this time, it was right in front of his shirt pocket.

Keith tried to dig the pocket but there was nothing inside. He gestured to the housewife that there was nothing inside his pocket.

Security housewife scanned for another time. BEEEEP ! and looked at Keith with a very concerned face - that he should check his pocket properly or something like that.

“Dude, you sure you don’t have coins or something in there?” I asked Keith.

“No.. there’s nothing in my pocket!”

Security housewife put her scanner in front of Keith’s shirt pocket again and that annoying thing beeped indefinitely - and this time, she has this confident look on her ( like the rock kinda look ) that Keith must be hiding something.

Almost immediately, I started to realize what was about to transpire there.

“Oh god, I hope that isn’t what I think it is … ”

Keith gave me a wry grin and that “oh yeah?” look

“I think you may need to show her your tits…”

Keith chuckled and started to unbutton his shirt. The security housewife was dumbfucked when she saw Keith unbuttoning his shirt. Before she could even react to that, Keith had already undone 2 buttons and he whipped out his left tit.

It was his nipple ring. Keith then pinched his D cup man tit to bulge his nipple further for the security housewife to inspect. The rest of the people around the security checkpoint (including myself) were already laughing like jackasses high on drugs, in a crouching position to withstand the cramping stomach muscle.

The housewife security guard stumbled a few steps backwards hitting the corner of a wall and was wiping her tears - from laughing too hard as herself as well. Keith then said it out loud to me “I got this done when I was pissed drunk one night… heh heh heh”.

When he got down from that platform, he quipped further

Keith : “Man, that thing was too sensitive for detecting a nipple ring.. don’t you think so ?”

Me : “Basically it would beep if there’s any metal object .. nipple ring or not.”

Keith : “Does that mean I get to show her my dick if her detector beeps on my dick ring?”

Me : “You pierced your dick too ??”

Keith : “I was just kidding about that… heheh” - relax sharul he he he -

And we laughed all the way out to lunch, leaving that bunch of security guards still dumbfounded on what they’ve just witnessed.
Unknown Peppy - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago