what does the heart want?

does it pine for lack of love? does it tell that he is not worth another shot? is it crying for him or for another?

you thought you could trust him. it's easy, when you have given everything to him. but he tramples it and tells you that you must not waver in your eternal servitude and worship. he has fed off the power you gave him. and he wants more.

perhaps there might have been a chance to save commitment, but that possiblity is withering. when the shadow of a new lover tickles the edges of the soul, you know there is no hope.

must move on.
Unknown "Anime Fighter X" Adventurous - 16 years, 4 months, 20 days ago

feelings in my heart tell me that being alone will hurt

knowledge tells me this will pass

hopefullness dictates that my soul will endure and heal

depression reminds me that all life is pain
Unknown "Anime Fighter X" Adventurous - 16 years, 7 months ago

rain is such a wonderful thing.
when i am feeling at my worst, i know that i can feel at peace
there is a place a few miles away that i love
a small park filled with azaleas and oaks
i look insane running from my car into the storm
lightning casting my shadow in every direction till i have none
the rain is so dense it clouds my eyes and i stumble through mud and brambles
to my perch
on the edge of nature yet hidden from human eye
an owl flies over me...chortling
i feel a stillness within that slowly blocks out the drum of water on my skin
my soul turns to breath turns to steam as night becomes colder
i watch it flit around my head and vanish as i pull it back in
the rain slows
only the leaves weep now
the Voice has spoken


i am not invisible
Unknown "Anime Fighter X" Adventurous - 16 years, 7 months, 12 days ago

his final ploy to get me back...assasination. *siiiigh*


i put his things out of my home and he threw a fit. tried to run me off the road...and then chased me through the parking lot at work. fortunately i can get a protection order. that will be nice. '_'
Unknown "Anime Fighter X" Adventurous - 16 years, 7 months, 12 days ago

he dares...he dares to call me a W**RE!!! and then has the nerve to call me up at ungodly hours to cry and plead with me to take him back.


riiiiiight

his latest ploy has been to threaten suicide...if i don't take him back, apparently, i can put his things at his grave. maybe it was cold and heartless of me to tell him he doesn't have the cahonies to do it...but that sort of threat is childish and stupid. and still controling.
"if you don't, i'm gonna"

i can't stand it. he's not smart (in fact he left me a note that said, i miss you so much. i can live without you...can you guess what he MEANT to say?) but he's becoming an expert at psycological games. *sigh* oh well...
Unknown "Anime Fighter X" Adventurous - 16 years, 7 months, 12 days ago