For Robert:

I miss you friend. Though I am strong and an alpha personality, I still cry when I think about you. I miss the laughs and the times that we have shared, and wish we could have shared more. Sometimes when I walk past a bookstore I think how much you used to love browsing around, and how this summer I will be attending PRIDE without you. Going for movies and beers on the patio in the summer. Clubbing and shopping. You were the very best!!!!

I miss hearing you say “Oh Camille” in that disapproving tone, and patiently tell me I was being an @ss. You were one of only a few people who had the ability to keep me in check. We were supposed to have had such a fun time together riding the coasters in Orlando, and instead Dirk and I watched you struggle for your life. It broke my heart that week to see you suffering, and I felt so very lost. I cried so much during that time. My faith in whatever “God” is out there was broken when you passed. Though I’m not much of a praying type, I prayed with all my heart and soul for you to wake up and get better, and instead I waited with others for your death. I asked myself, why did the few good people in my life get taken from me, whilst all the random jerks in my life continued to live on? It wasn’t fair!!!

When I think back to that time, I wonder to myself why I couldn’t say deep and meaningful things like they do on TV? I guess I wasn’t able to accept that you were terribly sick and dying. You were taken so suddenly from us. I always thought you would get better and I didn’t want to believe anything else. People used to say random words of consolation to me, but unless you’ve had someone you care about die before you, you wouldn’t understand. I just wanted to scream


My heart hurts, but I soldier on. Because I can’t just lay down and die. I hope that one day when it is my time to make that journey, I will see you again my friend. Though you passed away last November, pain still twinges at my soul when I think of you. I haven’t been able bring myself to talk about it to anyone, so this little piece is my way of trying to mend the little pieces of my broken heart.

RIP Robert. I love you man. And thanks to Dirk for being there to support me. Richard, you are probably my one friend who has been through the exact same pain as me and would understand.

Thanks for reading :D

Unknown "Cami" Cheeky - 16 years, 2 months, 10 days ago