I'm retiring from the Army in about a week and I've decided to review the top ten things I've learned in my short career. Here they are:

10. Booze is a food group.

9. The weather on every military base in the world is controlled by a cruel and evil deity. (That's how they get the land so cheap.)

8. Motrin cures everything.

7. Guns don't kill people. Snipers' bullets do.

6. The middle finger is universal.

5. Never ask how the food you're eating is made, especially overseas. (It's called "foot bread" for a reason and if you're offered a steak but haven't seen a single cow in country...)

4. My friend Kate is worth at least seven camels.

3. It's not stealing if it's left unattended.

2. Never let a moron give you an IV.

1. The self tourniquet from the first aid kid can be used for auto-erotic-asphyxiation.

Unknown "Tiger" Content - 16 years, 8 months, 22 days ago

My boyfriend called me a little bit ago to let me know he made it through sniper tryouts. Yay!

If there's one thing hotter than being Infantry, it's being a Sniper.

I might just be crazy but "one shot one kill"... Yeah, super sexy.
Unknown "Tiger" Content - 16 years, 8 months, 29 days ago

Des' Words of Wisdom:

"He who eats the month old taco from the 'fridge because a sandwich is too much work is probably too stoned."
Unknown "Tiger" Content - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

I'm not putting on real clothes today. I'm not naked. I'm just staying in PJ's. I have cold and Cory left today so I don't really have anyone to hang out with anyway.

With virtually no more doctors' appointments left and the last of my good friends here leaving this morning, I wondered... Why bother putting on clothes at all? It's not like anyone's going to be dropping by with beer and questioning about how he got kicked out of the strip club again last night.

Which reminds me, if anyone knows whether or not Cory and I are still banned from the bar down the road or how I hurt my hand Friday night, please let me know. Thanks.

PJ's all the way!
Unknown "Tiger" Content - 16 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

I locked myself out of my room earlier. I couldn't find my key card anywhere so I propped open the door but it closed on me anyway.

I know what you're thinking. That I just wasted two minutes of your life by posting this but bear with me. There's more!

I finally did find the key but it was in my underwear drawer. What was it doing in my underwear drawer? How did it get there?

Ok, so maybe I did waste your time. It's not like you were doing anything important with it anyway...

Oh, you were? My bad.
Unknown "Tiger" Content - 16 years, 9 months, 2 days ago