This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had
tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,

there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked
the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the
stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the

sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
follen swanny.
Unknown "AlphaKennyBuddy" Petulant - 16 years, 9 months, 22 days ago

I walked into a bar with friends. While I was waiting for drinks I clocked an overly drunk ape at the end of the bar trying to chat up the barmaid and leaning over to grab her arse.
I get the round in and try to wind around the bodies to our table. I run into an old friend of mine in the crowd. She was stuck up and arrogant, as she always had been.
She proceeded to tell me how fantastic her life was.
Uni was great, She travelled abroad regularly and She had a fantastic boyfriend who she was about to move in with and eventually marry!
When I told her I didn’t bother going to college or uni she laughed at me and told me I didn’t know what I was missing and she always believed I wouldn’t go far after school.
During this overconfident speech she picked up a glass that had been abandoned on a nearby table and drank it. All she had to say in her defence was that she is a poor student and that cider and black shouldn’t be wasted. EW!!
Finally I got an opening to say what I had been up to. There wasn’t much more to say other than, I was self employed for over a year. I closed that shop to start a very lucrative development in that location. I was working in the office with my family learning how to run my fathers empire after he retired and during all that I had bought 3 properties. I had sold 2 for profit and planed to move into the other myself.
She was gutted.
Once she had sufficiently arse licked I tried to escape her and get back to my friends. She decided to follow me with her pint of cider, black and cooties mixer in hand. Half way through the club she stoped me and says “ooooo Katie meet my boyfriend!!”
It was the ape! OWNED!!
Moral: Don’t be a tosser! You’ll get no sympathy when your life is fucked up!

Unknown "AlphaKennyBuddy" Petulant - 16 years, 10 months, 28 days ago

- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I think I like you.

WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Touching on the Bum: Your fun.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.
Unknown "AlphaKennyBuddy" Petulant - 16 years, 11 months, 24 days ago

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her ]
When she stare's at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]
When she start's cussing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]
When she ignore's you
[ Give her your attention ]
When she pull's away
[ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]
When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared
[ Protect her ]
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steal's your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she tease's you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she look's at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]
When she say's that she like's you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grab's at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]
When she bump's into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tell's you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]
When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]
When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]
When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok dont believe it.
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Tease her and let her tease you back.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the pouring rain.
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

She'll remember you 10 years later.
Unknown "AlphaKennyBuddy" Petulant - 16 years, 11 months, 24 days ago

When a girl is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a girl is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says " I love you " ... she means it.
When a girl says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Find a person
- who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
- who calls you back when you hang up on them.
- who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the person who
- kisses your forehead.
- wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
- holds your hand in front of their friends.
- is constantly reminding you of how much they care about you and how lucky they are to have you.
- turns to their friends and says, " That's her!! "

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person.
Unknown "AlphaKennyBuddy" Petulant - 16 years, 11 months, 24 days ago