I awake, once again. My limbs are fatigued, my mouth is dry, my stomach empty, and my eye lids are heavy. My world is dark and cold, nothing left, my surroundings desolate. The darkness engulfing me leaves me broken, my life in ruins.

But there, in the distance, a shimmer. An ever luminous glow, seemingly out of reach. Yet, from my slumber I stir. Clambering to my feet, I drag myself in its direction. Every movement is painful, yet still I try.

This is my day. This is every day of mine. I wake in darkness, striving for my distant light. She is my day. She is my life, and my world. She is the light that pierces my perpetually devoid existence. I continue to fight, to battle, to strive. She keeps me going.

I refuse to give up, I refuse to lay and die. For if I do, I know I will never reach her. I will never see her face again. But by battling, my hope lives on. I live, for while I live, my fight instils in me the chance to hold her, to have her back. But that is only a chance.

How far must I run? For how long must I battle? Questions tear through my mind, but disappear as quickly as they assume. I needn’t answer. I don’t care. I will continue to fight, to struggle, to drag my self from sleep.

She is my world, and I refuse to let her slip from my grasp, no matter the cost, no matter the fight I prolong. The day her light slides from my grasp, is the day my dark, cold world shatters around me, crashing with the most almighty, deafening sounds. I will be left with nothing. No reason to fight.

I will have failed, and will hold myself responsible. I will give up my fight, and ultimately make the most costly sacrifice of my existence. I will condemn and forsake myself. This is my Oath.

- Epic Calibre

© Epic Industries, 2008

Unknown "dA LoVeLy Li[a]m" Cheeky - 16 years, 2 months, 5 days ago

“I Will Never Conform To Your Ideals. I Will Never Immerse Myself In Your Prominent Society. I Am Me. Never, Will I Be Like You. You look at me and see difference. I look at you and see exactly what I see in others. Cast me out if you will, degrade and slander me for walking my own path. I will not sit by and let your deviant humanity decide my fate. No. I shall challenge the uniformity and anonymity of your people. I shall make my self prevalent, stand on my own, and rely on my fortitude, not your social grounding. I need not you, nor anyone else. Have your cliques, have your groups. Talk while gathering, laugh while joking, cry while fighting. Expect me not to do the same. I will not talk to you. I will not laugh with you, nor shall I cry for you. I shall exist outside your standards and expectations. You will resent me for it, For opposing your predetermined fate. But that fate will be yours. Not mine. It will never be mine. I will never be like you. I shall be me. Like it or not. Me. Myself. No one else.”

“I Look at You. I see failure. I see a person who lives to hurt. Someone existing only to crush those that are close to him, those who care. Someone who turns their back on the people around him, when, after all, they are just trying to help. I see a desolate void within humanity. A rip against the tide of social progression. I see someone that immerses themselves in loathing and self-doubt, and continues to do so until frustrated, confused and abandoned. I see someone that dejects themselves from aid. You stand before me, having given up on society, having given up on those around you. Not to conform, but to exempt yourself from interaction. To hate. To resent, not only us, but yourself. To feel no median credit, having given yourself the purpose of standing out, not to exceed. But to fail. You have chosen to be different, to have cast yourself from this world into a pit of contempt and disappointment. For what purpose, I ask.”

“You will never understand. You will decide that my fate is sealed in failure, that I will never amount. Never succeed. But, alas, I have. I have become exactly that in which I have set out to be. To divide this construct of life. I need not you. You need not me. You will attempt to understand, so you say, but your ignorance will fail you. It will blind you, and you will miscomprehend my intentions. You will never understand my values or beliefs. I have my faith. And it lies in me. I will rely on these values and beliefs. They will build fortitude and resilience. I will not ask for understanding, nor forgiveness. You need not agree. For I ask not of you conception of my self, but conception of your society. I have made my choice. And only I can hold myself responsible for that. Fail or succeed, it has been my choices, my actions. You will never understand. Your choices, your actions, are those displaced on you by your society, without question. Without reason. Fail or succeed, you have your society to blame. You have not your independent thought, nor do you have the self-satisfaction in knowing it was you that got you where you are. Judge not me, for I have taken my own actions. They may condemn me, but I have been responsible for that which I have become.”

“I seek not understanding of your values or beliefs, for there are is no understanding. Having chosen your fate, is having condemned yourself already. We seek not to change you, but accept you. Even with your individual integrities. Yes, society may have predetermined our fate within it, fail or succeed. But that is what we, ourselves, members of this society, have chosen. Yet, still we find common ground. An interaction between ourselves, between one and another. We grow, and develop, in the same way you say you do. We seek not to stop you from following your own path, but to aid you along the way. To be there when you need help, to pick you up when you fall. This is society. This is humanity. You tell me that we fail to accept or understand your values and beliefs, yet you fail to understand ours. You have decided that our beliefs and values are condescending and degrading, yet you try not to comprehend our perspective. You are hypocritical. You have condemned yourself to your own demise, whether present, or future. For that, you will resent yourself. I pity you”

“I need not your pity. You keep it. Pity the masses within your society. For they will never change, they will never appreciate themselves. Their individuality. They will live day to day, controlled by your destructive demeanor. They will never know peace. They will never know what it is like to rely on themselves, to make their own choices, to live for themselves. They will exist, but never live. The will hear, but never listen. For you have chosen this fate for them, and when they die, they will die as a part of your society, not as themselves. They will die, and fade away into the darkness like a fading spark. But I. I will burn, brightly and vibrantly, my faith and self-appreciation fuelling it’s ambience. You have been failed by your society, and once again, your ignorance has blinded you. Never will you see the truth for what it is. Never will you see your society in its pure form. Society. A highly efficient mechanism for destroying thought, and self-exploration. Turning people into a single most object. But I will never conform. I will stand atop the mountain, viewing your mindless masses beneath me, and it will be I who pities you.”

-Liam “Epic” McDowall

Unknown "dA LoVeLy Li[a]m" Cheeky - 16 years, 7 months, 23 days ago

Softly and slowly gently in vain
The window is open its pouring rain
Thunder and lightning a heated night
Sneaky intentions but certain delight
A lesson to learn failure denied
Reason uncertain I'm leaving tonight
Promise refusal deflection degrade
Bottle desire liquid pain

Lay me down I'm listening,
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that
Tell me now I'm begging
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that

Perfect distraction pale flesh
Silver armor covering death
Boyish desire needless pain
Fire is fire light as day

Lay me down I'm listening,
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that
Tell me now I'm begging
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that

Give me the right of opinion
Just give me a go
Swallow your pride and stop thinking
Give me a go
Give me the right of opinion
Just give me a go
Swallow your pride and stop thinking
Give me a go

Lay me down I'm listening,
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that
Tell me now I'm begging
I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that

I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that

I've already seen a true romance
And it don't look like that
Unknown "dA LoVeLy Li[a]m" Cheeky - 16 years, 7 months, 27 days ago

I'm waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chime;
Reflecting on my past life, and it doesn't have much time;
'Cause at 5 o'clock, they take me to the Gallows pole;
The sands of time, for me are running low...
Running low...
When the priest comes to read me the last rights;
I take a look through the bars at the last sights;
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me...
Could it be that there's some sort of error?
Hard to stop the surmounting terror;
Is it really the end or some crazy dream?
Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming;
It's not easy to stop from screaming;
Words escape me when I try to speak...
Tears, they flow; but why am I crying?
After all, I'm not afraid of dying;
Do not beleive that there never is an end...
As the guards bring me out to the courtyard;
Somebody crys from a cell, "God be with you!"
If there's a god then why does he let me die?
As I walk, all my life drifts before me;
And though the end is near, I'm not sorry;
Catch my soul, it's willing to fly away...
Mark my words, believe my soul lives on;
Don't worry, now that I have gone;
I've gone beyond to see the truth...
So when you know that your time is close at hand;
Maybe then you'll begin to understand;
Life down there is just a strange illusion
Unknown "dA LoVeLy Li[a]m" Cheeky - 16 years, 7 months, 28 days ago

Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
Unknown "dA LoVeLy Li[a]m" Cheeky - 16 years, 7 months, 28 days ago