have had a rough time the last few weeks controlling my anger towards people who make fun of me and turn my words around
but last night i went to the movies with my parents and on our way out one of the people who have hurt me was there with his dad. His dad was mentally retarded and didnt know how to act and so this boy had to be the man and take care of his dad as if he were a child. Now i cant say that i know exactly where hes coming from but i kinda do
my step father has been with me and my brother since i was 4 and he was diagnosed with arnold chiari malformation in 1990 and in 1995 was involved in one of red oaks worst car accidents but yet he tries to be a dad thats more than what my real dad could ever do but on the other hand his disorder is progressing and everyday i have to more stuff for him so he wont be in pain i have to take care of him and then make sure that my mom and mentally challenged little brother understand everything thats going on now ive realized anytime that somethiing happens to someone i care about i show more anger towards my friends and enemies
now i wouldnt even begin to think that if pain causes anger and that there is so much anger in the world that what those people showing that anger must be experiencing i have ruined many friendships because of my home life and i just realized that if i could keep my home life separate from my outside life then i probably wouldnt blow up at people as much as i do
im sorry to two people in particular: Greg and Amber i have lost julio then i lost jessie then i find out the one person i have ever loved isnt allowed to love me back all these things have caused me to think no one cared including god i kept going to church to try to understand why this stuff keeps happening to me and i still dont understand but that is no reason to try to ruin other peoples lives in the process im sorry to everyone and i hope you forgive me
Unknown Frisky
- 16 years, 8 months, 10 days ago