Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch Rover a bone.

When she bent over Rover drove her Rover had a bone of his own.
Unknown Crazy - 16 years, 5 months, 4 days ago

Stink proof

One day an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog.

When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier the cashier said she needed proof that she had a dog because some old people have been known to just eat the food themselves.

So she went home and got the puppy, took him back to the store and was then able to buy the dog food.

One week later the old lady went to the same store to get some cat food. Again, the cashier said she needed proof she had a cat.

So she went home, got the cat bought it back to the store then bought the cat food.

Two weeks later the old lady walked into the same store, she held a bag in front of cashier and said put your hand in the bag then pull it out and smell it when he did he said it smells like poop.

The old lady replied " can i buy some toilet paper now!"

Unknown Crazy - 16 years, 5 months, 20 days ago

American in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

Unknown Crazy - 16 years, 5 months, 20 days ago

Dicks Are Unfortunate

10. You've got a hole in your head.
9. Your master strangles you all the time.
8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
7. You shrink in cold water.
6. You never get a haircut.
5. You always hang around with two nuts.
4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
3. Your best friend is a pussy.
2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.
And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:
1. Every time you get excited, you throw up.

Unknown Crazy - 16 years, 5 months, 20 days ago

Sensitive Beer

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."

She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"

And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.

Unknown Crazy - 16 years, 5 months, 20 days ago