WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS !!! DENMARK ARE EUROPEAN HANDBALL CHAMIONS 2008 !!!
Unknown "I AM LEGEND" Festive - 16 years, 10 months, 5 days ago

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"
Unknown "I AM LEGEND" Festive - 16 years, 11 months, 7 days ago

Some parents and their children went to a seminar about why the parents named their child what they are. Only about 10 people showed up, so it was pretty personal. The spokesperson,pointing at a parent said,"You named your child Penny because you have a want for riches and money."
He moved on,"You named your child Candie because you have a desire for sweets and chocolate." He then pointed at a dad. "You named you child Homer because you have a deep love of baseball." The parents and kids began to stir around a little bit, thinking that this spokesperson is pretty good. Then a mom and a child stood up. As they left, the mother said, "Cmon Dick, lets go."

Unknown "I AM LEGEND" Festive - 16 years, 11 months, 10 days ago

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Unknown "I AM LEGEND" Festive - 16 years, 11 months, 11 days ago