it's weird... the internet. It's this amazing tool used by millions of people for information and socializing. My mother was one of the first to go out and get it when it was available in our area.
I've known Nick since I was 14. He's always been this person, this screen name on the other side, there to console me, joke with me, be my friend. We've never met. We've never actually hugged. Never actually looked each other in the eye. But I've always thought of him as a friend. He's always known of all the major things to have occurred in my life. For 12 years, he's been dependable. He's been there.
Until today.
I logged into myspace and things were fine. My proxy server was making things frustrating, I couldn't respond to messages, so I went to look at my new comments... and there it was. "Hey kiddo... ltns. You should log onto irc in case you haven't heard the news. Miss you<3"
I went to Candee's page... and there it was.. In her banner. I couldn't grasp it. I felt that familiar lump in my throat. I clicked on Nick's myspace page. I didn't believe it until just a bit ago. But it's true. He's gone. He made the choice to take his own life..
Wrapping my brain around it has been odd. So odd. I've never met this person, but I still called him a friend. I'll never log on to see him there. I'll never get to tell him when I move in with my boyfriend, when I get married... I'll never get to send him pictures of me pregnant... or pictures of my new hair cut.. or just bullshit with him about silly stuff.
I can't grasp this. I can't believe he did this to himself. I can't believe this. I can't.
Unknown "Frank's Kitten" Tired
- 16 years, 1 month, 26 days ago
