Pain in all my joints, my soul, my head,
filling me with doubt, confusion, dread.
An emptiness, an ache that shouldn't be,
The cause of which I can't clearly see.
I fight against the dark embrace of misery,
always fighting, wishing to be free.
Misery has become something real,
a demon, his breath I can almost feel.
Lurking in shadows, stealing my breath,
ripping into my thoughts, wishing me death.
His voice hits a million chords,
damning me with vicious words.
The angry gnawing of his teeth,
I feel inside and at the heels of my feet.
Razor sharp claws tears at my mind,
Still, I feel as if he's being kind.
He could have chosen to end me quickly,
making me fear all and feel just sickly.
Instead, he's letting my life run it's course,
I feel his influence but not his force.
He's letting me live, and maybe forever,
for unhappiness is his only true endeavor.
Unknown "Lover" Feisty - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago

Stumbling back through tangled up days
Tripping through mists and layers of greys
Ever on hunt for clues to it all but
Memories just echo, a faint far off call

Clasping at dignity spared by illusion
Each step through the past a studied delusion
Lost in the gaps of times no longer seen
Left in the now, the then, or between

But when clarity grants a glimpse through the veil
Life's vibrancy dims and accomplishments pale
So let it fall back, to shroud the stark scenes
Of happiness lost and unfulfilled dreams

Let cobwebs grow thick, Spanish moss to the mind
As yesterdays fade, the inner eye blind
So everything dims like the lights in the room
The pain of life drowned in a deepening gloom

But then sight of first love or childhood friend
Are also denied when approaching the end
So slumped in a chair, eyes unfocused, staring
Wondering what's real, what's not, but not caring

And last by the window at life's dusk, or dawn?
Grasping for things half there, now half gone
Her thoughts are in shreds yet they're all that remain
From that desperate crawl down memory lane
Unknown "Lover" Feisty - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago

Strange little girl, strange little girl
You could say I'm a strange little girl
Living in a far too interesting world
Where truths are spoken inbetween lies
That spin us off in different directions

I'm a strange little girl, strange little girl
Who could twist you three sheets to the wind
But my disgust for you seeps through my skin
When your creepy fingers like crazy spiders
Attempt to crawl across my pelvic divide

Some say you're a malignant narcissist
I wouldn't dare fight anyone to deny it
'Cause even as you're trying and lying
To my face you're staring in the mirror

Mirror mirror in your vainglorious hand
Who's the most fairest of them all (you ask)
Not giving a damn that you ripped my heart out
Returned it bruised bloody and mangled

Still I hold onto you like a bad habit
Like that mirror holding your reflection
Who in the bitter end will crack in half
Giving you 7 years bad luck and a bad back

So come on over for your last supper, I'll feed you
Rocky Mountain Oysters with a side of Buffalo Chips
Afterwards you'll enjoy yourself some desert yellowcake
'Cause that's what strange little girls kindly serve
Up and over to their insouciant lovers who moonlight

Strange little girl, strange little girl
Yeah, you can say this strange little girl
Has acquired herself some unnatural habits
But you won't deny this strange little girl
Love... even when she's down and flat out of luck

Strange little girls, strange little girls
We seek each other out in licentious alleys
Strange little girls, strange little girls
When we crave that delicate sapphic touch
Strange little girls, strange little girls
We're not as godforsaken as you think we are

Strange little girl, strange little girl
You could say I'm a strange little girl
Living in a far too interesting world
Where truths are spoken inbetween lies
That spin us off in different directions

I'm a strange little girl, strange little girl
Who sincerely hopes that you'll forgive her
I didn't mean to put poison in your tea
I accidentally mistook strychnine for honey
No don't cry, tears will only taint your fate

And mean things I do merely to entertain myself
While being choked to death by boredoms idle hands
As I try to keep myself away from your face
'Cause you're utter natural insult to humanity

Yeah I would kiss you right on your dying lips
But I don't wanna land some sour disease
And I never promised you a pretty rose garden
But I do have a patch of dead weeds to lie in

Plus some extraneous nihilistic tendencies
That will quench your existentialist thirst
That will feed your insatiable hunger
Over the course of your neurotic death

So come on over for your last supper, I'll feed you
Rocky Mountain Oysters with a side of Buffalo Chips
Afterwards you'll enjoy yourself some desert yellowcake
'Cause that's what strange little girls kindly serve
Up and over to their insouciant lovers who moonlight

Strange little girl, strange little girl
Yeah, you can say this strange little girl
Has acquired herself some unnatural habits
But you won't deny this strange little girl
Love... even when she's down and flat out of luck

Strange little girls, strange little girls
We seek each other out in licentious alleys
Strange little girls, strange little girls
When we crave that delicate sapphic touch
Strange little girls, strange little girls
We're not as godforsaken as you think we are
Unknown "Lover" Feisty - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago

We who are of the Old Ways, Celebrate The Goddess and God,
In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust. '
Oh Goddess
There is great sadness
A cherished one has gone
Emptiness engulfs me
Loss languishes within
Help me bear this grief
Accompany their spirit
Comfort we who grieve
Let us rejoice in their life
May their essence be recorded
In the Great Book of Shadows
Renew our remembrance with joy
Unknown "Lover" Feisty - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago

~~R.I.p.~~
Malachai Jadon Goldstein
April 11, 2007


I watched...
As her face became the mirror
of her broken life,
as each dream surfaced, spread,
then faded to the next and the next
and the next.
'Til each was paid for -
each earned its due
with every kick-in-the-gut,
rip-the-life-from-her-heart,
searing touch of they'll never be.
And she KNEW it all along...
inside.

I listened...
As she mewed in the agony
rocking back-and-forth in her NOW -
reality.
Too far along in the depths of comprehension,
too close to hear the lies she couldn't hold in
anymore...
the ones she told herself in the dark before,
the ones she lived and breathed 'til she believed,
the ones she whispered to her silent God,
the ones now stripped away and leaving bare
the flayed and ragged raw flesh of her soul.

I understood...
her whys, her ways, and every how -
every reason, excuse, each self-justification -
witnessed each step on her path
of self-fulfilling hell
... and couldn't change a thing.

"Hail Diana

Hail Artemis Diana
Blessed Lady of the Beasts
I dedicate myself to You

May my path honor Thee
May my spirit celebrate Thee
May my life force magnify Thee

These things I pray
Be fulfilled this day
Goddess Mother help me
To know what is right."
Unknown "Lover" Feisty - 16 years, 8 months, 7 days ago