"Have you ever had to love someone that just don’t feel the same
Trying to make somebody care for you the way I do
Is like trying to catch the rain
And if love is really forver then
Im a winner at a losing game"

A theme song more or less written for the life I shall forever be doomed to lead. Forever to want those who don't want me and love those who can't love me... I need to become a nun and never worry about that silly idealistic word known as "love" ever again. Its just an uphill battle and I'm no longer willing to hike.
Unknown "Only if..." Trusting - 16 years, 8 months, 21 days ago

At least give me enough for some gas!...

So every Saturday I'm fortunate enough to work the double, I come in at 10, get a break around 4, back on at 5 and continue working through till 10 pm. The day shift on Saturday's is generally slow, I'm lucky if I make an extra $30 to take home at the end of the night. But last Saturday afternoon? Ugh..

The morning was usual, I was tired and grouchy, just trying to get the kitchen up and running. After I tied my apron and finished putting on my make up I walked up to the hostess stand to find a group of people waiting. Where the hell the hostess was is beyond me, but I kindly offered to seat them in my section and take care of them. They were from out of town but they seemed pretty cool. One lady was happy as hell that we had her favorite beer and the others were just glad to be sitting by a tv. I took pretty damn good care of them except for one tiny detail, I forgot some swiss cheese on a sandwich. I offered to take it back and get the swiss cheese she wanted but the lady shook her head, saying it was no big deal. This family was just ordering tons of stuff... well, suffice to say its hard to run a lunch bill up very much but their's was up to $80.

After I dropped the check the young couple with the kid told me to split the bill in half and put it on their two cards, no problem, that's an easy enough thing to do. So I thanked them and sent them on their way. Here's where I get to the point... I go and pick up their checks, neither of them had filled in any tip amout on their credit card slips, they just had a zero. So I peaked around on the table to find some cash... two dollars... really? That couldn't be right. I cleared plates off the table, checked under the booth... nothing. Those bastards left me two damn dollars on an eighty dollar check.

TWO DOLLARS! That isn't even 10%, hell, that isn't even 5%! Two dollars wont even buy me one single gallon of gas and that's what they left me? I would've been less offended had they just left nothing. Keep your two damn dollars cheap asses, you clearly need it more than I do.

I've realized the best tippers aren't rich people and they aren't poor people, they are the few who've worked in the food service industry and they know what a bitch it is to kiss ass for an hour and a half for just a couple bucks... they know cause they've walked in these shoes.
Unknown "Only if..." Trusting - 16 years, 9 months, 2 days ago

Kids DON'T say the darndest things...

I don't mind serving a group with little kids. I mean, I don't jump for joy because they kinda bring my ticket average down, but really kids aren't that bad. They drink their drinks way slower than adults do which is cool with me, less work. But not tonight... no.

A couple of my friends were coming in tonight so I told the hostess to seat them in my section, but right before they arrive I get sat a group of five with two little girls. I wanted to hurry up and get them started so I'd have time to take care of my frineds. So I greet the group, introduce myself, and offer to get them some drinks. Being as sweet as I can muster I ask the little girl, "What can I get for you to drink tonight sweetie?"
She demands, "I want apple juice!" Which go the hell figure, we don't have it. We have cranberry juice and orange juice, hell, we even have tomato juice, but not apple juice. Little "sweetie" goes ape shit. Starts kicking her feet and screaming all because of some damn apple juice! What the hell kind of kid throws a fit over apple juice when she can have freaking soda pop! GOD! So I've got this group in the booth right next to this brat that are getting pretty peeved. As she continues to throw a tantrum, my tip goes down... awesome....
So after the mom, morbidly embarrassed, tells me to just get her some water. I get to be in the kitching hearing from all the other servers how loud the little girl in my table is being. WTF!? What am I supposed to do!?
So I head back out and the little girl has finally calmed herself. I give her her little cup and she's almost excited to see the jungle animals on the plastic cup she would get to keep... that is until she drinks it and realizes its not apple juice. Then the hissy fit ensues... things like this make me seriously consider whether or not I want to procreate...
Unknown "Only if..." Trusting - 16 years, 9 months, 16 days ago

Prom kids...
So I am a server in a restaurant right, and I've come to learn that serving people requires the uncanny ability to put up with loads of bull, all the while wearing a smile. This is how I'm suppose to pay bills, kiss ass and hope the person is smart enough to know that anything less than 15% is a slap in my face.
But every year comes a not so magical time... prom season. I loath prom kids. For those of you who don't know, loathing is slightly more intense than hating. So in come the girls, all dressed in their pretty dressies and the boys wearing slacks and ties, how adorable. First the kids show up late, always. In my four years working in the biz I've seen maybe one group show up on time and another group at least call to say they would be late. The rest? All late. So me and my coworker sit around waiting for the whole groupe to show up, and how convenient, when they all get there we come to learn that they accidentally made the reservatoin for 40 when they needed it to be for 46.. just for those six other kids we need to find two more tables and six more chairs, which during the dinner rush is quite the impossible task.
Finally after we get them all settled down and forced them to focus for more than five seconds at the menu their holding, we take some orders.
Me: "What can I get for you to drink tonight?"
Girl: "Pink lemonade!"
Me:"Sorry, we don't have pink lemonade, but we do make a great raspberry or strawberry lemonade."
Girl: "oh..."
Me: "Either of those will make it a pink lemonade."
Girl:"Oh so you do have pink lemonade!"
Me:"... yes... would you like the raspberry pink lemonade or the strawberry pink lemonade..."

That was only one of the ingenius moments I experienced at my table that night. For some reason it would seem that 17-year-olds these days don't know what a ceaser salad is or that steaks are cooked to order...

By far the prize winner for biggiest idiot would go to the couple that just decided they didn't need to pay. I mean dinning and dashing is pretty stupid in the first place but get this, one of the girls in the group is a hostess at my restaurant. IDIOT! Why would you not pay when we can find you that easily!!!??

I guess in all serving them wasn't so bad, probably the worst service I've ever given to anyone and I was rude as well, did it matter? Hell no, we gratted their asses!!!
Unknown "Only if..." Trusting - 16 years, 9 months, 23 days ago

I'm here to talk about sidewalks. First off let me say that if you live in that one house on the block that doesn't have a sidewalk on it, what the heck are you trying to prove? We get it, you don't want to conform, but you know what? People are just going to kill your stupid grass anyway and walk on it as if a sidewalk were there.
Second of all, here we are ridden with some snow... for the love of god, shovel your sidewalk. One of these days I'm going to run some little kids over that are walking in the street, not that its their fault, some lamo was too lazy to shovel their sidewalk.
And since I'm on the topic of people walking in the street, you stupid little teenagers... you know who you are. You think you're so damn cool walkin in the middle of the road. There is nothing cool about walking where masses of metal moving at high speeds can massacre your body. Maybe its just me but I'm like, "hey, that guy took the time to shovel his sidewalk for me to walk on, I should probably walk on it as a way of saying thank you..."
Unknown "Only if..." Trusting - 16 years, 10 months, 8 days ago