A Newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
I want you to eat regularly for 2 days....then skip a day.
I want you to repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.
When the Newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!
Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions'?
The Newfie nodded...'I'll tell you though, Lord tunderin Jesus, I
t'aut I was goin to drop dead on dat tird day'.
'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.....
The Newfie replies, 'No, from the fuckin' skippin.'
SweetDarlinWendy "Facebook Angel" Tender - 15 years, 2 months, 11 days ago

Wine and Water



To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine..and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli,
(E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming
1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when
Drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whisky or other liquor), because alcohol has to go through a purification
Process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop, Wine = Health .

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service.
SweetDarlinWendy "Facebook Angel" Tender - 15 years, 2 months, 11 days ago

Well you know I was always the first to arrive at the party,
Oh…and the last to leave the scene of the crime.
Well it started with a couple of beers,
And it went I don’t know how many years,
Like a run away train heading for the end of the line.
Well I finally got around to admit that I might have a problem,
But I thought it was just too damn big of a mountain to climb,
Well I got down on my knees and said Hey,
I just can’t go on living this way,
Guess I have to learn to live my life one day at a time.
Oh yeah, One Day at a Time.
Oh yeah, One Day at a Time.
Well I finally got around to admit that I was the problem,
When I use to put the blame on everybody’s shoulders but mine,
All my friends I use to hang with are gone,
But I hadn’t planned on living this long,
Guess I’ll have to learn to live my life one day at a time,
It was something I was too blind to see,
I got help from something greater then me,
Now I have to learn to live my life one day at a time.
SweetDarlinWendy "Facebook Angel" Tender - 15 years, 2 months, 16 days ago

A WINTER Poem

It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.
Oh, how I love Canada
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Canada
I'm frozen to the friggin' ground!
SweetDarlinWendy "Facebook Angel" Tender - 15 years, 2 months, 22 days ago

Thank you, friends.
You touched
my heart today,
and made
my
days brighter
in your own
special way.
I'm so lucky
to
have friends
like you,
and I hope you
know that
I
appreciate
all you do.
SweetDarlinWendy "Facebook Angel" Tender - 15 years, 3 months, 19 days ago