warning geek moment ahead, warning still under construction.
one of my first few times as acting DM of a dnd game and i'm compileing a list of things that i as a dm frown upon. half of you wont understand it all of you will think we're dumb and before we get started whenever i say greygaurd picture a huge suit of black armor made for a footbally play and have ducette wear it.
You many not use your third leg for the feats power attack cleave great cleave or supreme cleave
The centaur’s 5th leg does not give him the two weapon fighting feat
At the point where your greygaurd is rubbing his nipples the campaign has gone horribly horribly wrong
Your bards bluff score cannot give the opponent shiny nickel syndrome
Your bard cannot know what a nickel is
No matter how many ranks you put into bluff you will never get the feat “jedi mind trick”
The dm will reward the use of the term gorram
No matter how high a level your gnome reaches you shall not use “nigga technology” unless you are a neutral character with Shaft as your god
You cannot make the gnomish merchants jump for their payment
You cannot tattoo "you must be at least this tall to bitch at me" on the centaur at cock level before walking into a gnomish dwarven or Halfling camp.
Greygaurds are not to lead the party in Christmas carols in summer.
Centaurs are not allowed to skullfuck their party members
There is no prestige class gnomish drug lord
Poping Viagra will not give you a plus one great maul
No matter how high your charisma you do not get the special abilities inspire catfight, or wet tee shirt contest
You cannot use astroglide to get a half stone giant barbarian through the tavern door
You may not sing "which one of these things is not like the others" while attempting your hide in plain sight feat
Mounting the centaur ranger is always a bad idea
Sneaking up on the assassin while he’s sneaking up on someone else always ends badly
Centaurs are not proficient in craft pipe bomb especially in a mess hall
No matter how curious you are you must not question how the gnomish centaur came to be
Nor the Halfling hill giant
One eye’d centaurs are not the same as padidles
Unknown "Badger" Perplexed
- 16 years, 8 months, 26 days ago
