I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court I noticed he was
watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked
hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad
kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring
every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not
choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response,
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my son."
Unknown "My Baby" Peaceful - 16 years, 3 months, 22 days ago

There was a hot dog, a cucumber, and a dick.

The hot dog said, "My life is very bad. People put
catchup, mustard, and relish and then they eat me."

Then the cucumber said "My life is worse, People chop
me up put me in dill brine and pickle me."

Then the dick said, "My life is the worst ever! They
shove me into a plastic tube, put me in a tunnel and
make me do jumping-jacks until I puke."
Unknown "My Baby" Peaceful - 16 years, 3 months, 23 days ago