Marilyn Monroe once said this - I’m pretty, but I’m not beautiful. I sin but I’m not the devil. I’m good but I’m not an angel.

Their are many ways that i can relate to this quote, Marilyn Monroe is one of my many heros, and while researching her history the other day i came across this line and it made me realise somethings.


I’m pretty, but I’m not beautiful. I feel like this most days i know that i am pretty , many people have told me this in the past, but im not the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone has different souls and everyone doubts theirself but can anyone actually admit how they truly feel about themselfs ?? Everyone has something they hate about themselves , their own little faults in a way and for me , i hate my looks but yet when people tell me im pretty i will believe them.

I sin but I’m not the devil. Everyone sins at least once in their lifetime, and i would be lying if i said that i have never sinned. Im not the devil though,
people describe the devil as a supernatural being, someone who,is believed to be a powerful, evil entity and the tempter of humankind. Im nothing compared to that, Yes i can be evil, but i would never try and course someone pain on purpose.

I’m good but I’m not an angel. I consider myself to be a kind person, i would go down to my last penny to help a friend in need, but im no angel.
Angel are described as a spiritual supernatural that can be found in many religions .Angels are usually viewed as emanations of a supreme divine being, sent to do the tasks . Just because i help people, and have been called an angel before, i will never belive this to be true just an act of kindness. Just because people help others does that really make then an angel or just a good person ?? xx

Danielle "Pink Princess" Adored - 15 years, 4 months, 22 days ago

Everyone has memorys that they will treasure for a lifetime. Some will put their memorys in photo albums, others will put them in a box hidden away.
Some will just have them locked in their heart and mind forever. I have all three of these, I have photos in albums that i look back on and smile at, I have a box in memory of my mum , in which i put her most treasured objects in, things like a teddy i got her and tickets to the theatre. I also have memorys that will simply be locked in my heart and mind forever. Not all memorys are good though, i realised the other day when trying to remember the good times i shared with my friend Julian that instead of blocking out memorys i wanted to forget , i blocked out memorys that i wanted to remember.

Heres what i mean by that, Ive known Julian for 5 years now, and while talking on msn the other day we was trying to remember the times we shared togethor , but when a subject was brought up i simply couldnt remember it only parts and it broke my heart. You see Julian is one of my closest friends, and to not remember times as simple as going to laser quest or hanging out in town just got me upset. I realised then instead of blocking out parts of my childhood i wanted to forget i blocked out the past that i didnt.

Memorys should last forever shouldnt they, thats why we put them in albums, or in boxes. Yes people have memorys they wish to forget but from now on im gonna try my hardest to remember the good times i share with people as those memorys will last a lifetime.

To end this blog, i want to say this to my friend Julian,

Julian, thank you for the memorys we did share togethor, i can remember you bringing a smile to my face, and i can remember you making me go up to that guy with a tag and tell him it was hanging out because you thought he didnt no !! I am sorry for not being able to remember a few other times i shared with you, but i want you to know this. That even though i have forgotten bits of the past that the ones i can remember will never fade, thank you for sharing my laughter and bringing a smile to my face dude luv always xx
Danielle "Pink Princess" Adored - 15 years, 5 months, 27 days ago

I write this blog for many reasons,
One, As I cant sleep even if i tried to i have things planning on my mind
Two, As Earlier today i hurt someone who ment alot to me
Three, As I think if you hear my mistakes it might help you
Four, This may way of expression how i feel right now

So here it goes .......

Have you ever wished you could turn back time to a point where you hurt someone you cared about the most ?? I have in my lifetime ive made many mistakes that im still learning from to this day.

One of those mistakes is this...

When my mum was alive , when she was going through her cancer, we would have argument upon arguments and we both say hurtful things. Before she died her last words was I Love You Danielle , and it killed me as even though we hated each other at times and even though i hurt her so many times she still loved me, and even in her dying moment all she could think about was me !! My mistakes here was never showing my mum everyday that i loved her so much, i should made everyday with her special specially near the end of her life , and i didnt because looking back on it i was scared and angry, i was scared because i knew she was dying and i was losing the one parent i have left in this world, angry because she was dying and i was being left alone. I shouldnt been though this is the women who raised me , who shelted and loved me and i hurt her and this is a one point i would change if i could, if i had a 2nd chance with my mum id tell her i loved her everyday. I know i cant change the past but i can look to the future and make everyday with those around me loved and special.

You cant change your future but you can change whats happening in your present, I have hurt people in my present and for this i am sorry if your reading this. I know someday soon i will learn from my mistakes properly . So this is my point of the blog ......

If you hurt someone and you dnt mean it instead of fighting and arguing just admit your wrong and say sorry, before its to late. I made the mistake with my mum and shes passed away now so im never gonna get that chance to say sorry, but for those who have a chance TAKE IT please before its to late xxxx
Danielle "Pink Princess" Adored - 15 years, 5 months, 27 days ago

After Having another argument with my best friend last night, and ending the night in tears, and then having an argument with my partner this morning, I have decided to write a blog about ARGUMENTS (Are they worth it ? ) .

To start this blog of im going to tell you a little story about an experiance i had while at the doctors (This going back a few months mind you). I had just booked myself in to see my normal doctor and turned round to look for a place to sit, The only free seat was next to this old gentleman who i had spoken to before (For purpose of this lets call him George, Age 75). After placing myself in the seat next to him , as usual George asked how i was , I politely replied and asked how he was doing. After a few minutes he asked how myself and my partner was doing. After having an argument with partner earlier that morning, i told him that we had a bit of a fight. George then told me a story that has stuck with me these past few months. George and his wife have been togethor for over 50 years, And not once through those 50 years have they ever argued !!! When i asked George have you never even shouted at each other or argued over something one of you has not done ? George simply replied you only get one life, why spend it arguing why not spend it simply loving each other. This has stuck with me ever sense being told this story, it got me think is it really worth arguing with the ones you love ??

On average a human's Life expectancy in the UK is around 70 years, Some people live more some live less, But during the time we have on earth. Is it really worth spending half are lives arguing with those we love, friends , or even enemies ?? Yes everyone has arguments, I dont think you would be normal if you didnt., But my point is at the end of the day, is it worth hurting each other ?? Ask yourself this Say you had an argument with your loved one and you went to bed on an argument, What would you feel next day if you woke up to find your partner lying dead next to you ?? Would you feel angry at yourself for going to bed on an argument ?? Would you feel Hurt Knowing that your never gonna get to tell that one person you love them ever again ?? This is why when i have an argument with my partner the first thing i do before going to bed is say sorry and that i love him , Why because even though we say hurtful things to each other i wouldnt change him for the world. Same with my bestie i could be fighting like cat and dog with my best friend but if he needed me i would come running to his aid even if we had a big argument 20 minutes ago.

I was reading earlier today how to avoid arguments, in the article it including question about your own feelings, your partners or friends, and Your conscience. Heres a bit of what it said .....

Your feelings
Are you overreacting because you're tired and stressed?
Could the anger you feel be at someone or something else?
Are you hormonal at the moment and feeling unusually irritable or sensitive?
Is your mood being affected by illness?

Your partner's feelings
Could your partner be overreacting because they're tired or stressed?
Do you know that they're currently feeling angry about something else?
Is your partner either struggling with health issues or being affected by hormonal changes?

Your conscience
Are you feeling defensive about what your partner has said or done because you feel guilty?
Could you be feeling defensive because you want to avoid having to say you're sorry?
Are you bearing a grudge against your partner for something you need to let go of?
If you're going to raise an issue, are you sure this is the main thing that's bothering you? (See What are you really arguing about?)
If you're going to raise an issue, are you sure it's worth risking a potential argument?
If you're going to raise this issue, are you using the guidelines in Productive arguing?

It made me think do any of us even bother to try this ?? Would it work even if we did ?? Who knows, but it might be worth a shot. I hate having arguments with people , 9 out of 10 i will end up in tears over it. Sometimes we sort them out sometimes we dont, but at the end of the day i wouldnt change a single thing about those i love, or those close to me. Even if sometimes we fight like cat and dog. I will still love them, I wonder if everyone in the world stopped and thought about what they was saying before starting an argument , Would their be less hate in the world ???

To end this blog , Im going to go back to my story on George. Do you reckon its possible that this amazing gentleman who has been married for 50 years to his wife , Have never argued once sense being togethor ?? I honesty believe that story and i believe that if someone as kind hearted as George can last 50 years without arguing with his wife, well i then reckon maybe if the rest of the world truly tried we wouldnt be in wars, Please remember this one thing. after having an argument with your loved one, friends or even family, Try make things right, Never go to bed on an argument, Because like i said you may never know what next day brings ......

Danielle "Pink Princess" Adored - 15 years, 5 months, 27 days ago

In the wise words of Drew Barrymore in the film Never been kissed.
Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know. This is what I know .....

Im 19 years old. I have never really had an easy childhood. I was neally killed before i even turned ONE !! How you may ask, My Mother was running me a bath and i sneakly climbed up the stairs to the stairgate and rattled it, what happened next (so ive been told ) I pulled the stairgate down on me and fall down the stairs with the stairgate landing on top of me , and my mother who rang out to get me fallen on top of that. Luckly all i came out with was a broken nose which but i have a perminate scar on my nose remind me of .

Next lets move on to my Father,Everything a man shouldnt be !! A Sailor in the Royal Navy.His name Anthony Hearn. I guess you could say he was never really their for me, He spent most his time away from home , or coming home drunk and using my mum as a punch bag. I dont remember him,but i do know that he never really loved me or my mum. I have been told so many stories on what he was like, that im glad i cant remember him, from what ive been told he was nothing but a lying, abusive wife beater. Someone who got his kicks from hitting his wife & daughter, someone who stole of my mum and someone who cheated. Thankfully he walked out when i was 2 and ive never heard from him since.
You may ask do i think of him ?? I do someday i wish i knew him but other days i despise him !!
Would i ever meet him ?? NO
Why ?? Where has he been for 17 years of my life need i say more.

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Next lets move on to my Mother, A Hero in my eyes, An Angel who sadly lost her battle to cancer At the age of 40 !!. Her Name Della Tredgett. Their so many things i want to say about her but, this blog isnt big enough to express how much she did for me. So instead im going to put a poem in memory of her here.

Mother you were the nicest, you were always there for me
You sung me nursery rhymes as you bounced me on your knee
You did everything that you could for me then left me on my own
The angels wanted you with them so they came and took you home
No one could ask more from their mum than what you did for me
Every day you gave me time, our closeness all could see
You cuddled and cherished me as a mother always does
Supported me in everything and often gave me a shove
You wiped my tears when I cried and laughed at all my ways
I reminded you of you when you were in your youthful days
I know I tried you with my moments as every child does
When life can get too much to bear in all the tear and rush
But you were there for me whenever I needed you
Sadly I never told you just how much I loved you too
And now it is too late, for your arms I can no longer feel
I should have told you when I could that my love for you was real.



This women touched the life of so many people, she never gave up even though she knew the cancer was terminal. My Mother ran marthaons while ill and raised over £4000 for the cancer unit that helped her. She battled this horrible illness for 8 years and in the end it toke my precious mother away. I do miss her everyday, After all i ended up being her full time carer near the end, it was always me and mum (specially after my stepdad walked out but thats another story for another blog), It is hard to grow up without no parents. I always thought my mother would be their to see me have my first child, get married , even to see my 18th birthday.Sadly she never made it and lost her battle a few days before my 16th. She will forever be missed and always in my heart. xxx xx

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Next i move on to my baby brother Hayden Paul Tredgett, Sadly he was stillborn (born and died in the womb) . It broke my mothers heart when they told her, and how i longed to be a big sister. I was only young when he died but i still have the scars , the memorys of having to see his body be taken away from my mothers arms. So as you can imagine my dream of becoming a big sister was never ment to be. My mother had suffired countless miscarriages before Hayden, After that was when she found out she had cancer and couldnt have any more children, So i grow up a lonely child. Every 1st April i mourn the death of my brother, all though his soul never grassed this earth , i believe his spirt lives on.
This is a poem i wrote in memory of him...

Far In The Distance, I See a small figure
Who is this boy I see before me?
I Know him, He has my blood
Such a beautiful Child, he is running to me
As i see him,I run to hold him
I Lock my arms around him and shed a happy tear
As i hold my brother in my arms i feel no fear
Knowing that for this one moment no pain i will feel
Not a soul around, Not a word said
reuinted with my brother needs no spoken words
I sit in the corner, Just a look and a smile is all i need
He sits netx to me, Looking at me with love
Five Little words he whispers in my ear
"I Love you big sister" I break down, I freeze
I pull him close and tell him the love i feel
My brother dear, How i miss you so
Turn Back The clock and change the past
So we can look to the future and forget the past
To erase the hurt and the pain without you here
Make new memories of a lifetime with you near?
So Could We Start again please? Thats all i ask
Make New Memories and forget the past

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Right well i think thats enough for my first blog, but im going to end this by telling you two of my main regreats as a child .

1, I regreat never showing my mother everyday i loved her
2, For hurting my mum in times when all she really needed was a cuddle

I sometimes lie awake at end, and wonder whether my mum would be proud of me now, What have i achived so far in my life ?? I know im not perfect but is anybody now days ... ??? I know deep down my mum would be proud , even if i havent proberly lived my life yet, i know that so far she would be proud of what ive achived !! So what have i achieved well thats for another time and another blog ..... xxxx

Danielle "Pink Princess" Adored - 15 years, 5 months, 27 days ago