A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" Unknown"Dough Boi ♥"Sparkling
- 16 years, 5 months, 23 days ago
Pillsbury Doughboy Dies
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news: Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. Unknown"Dough Boi ♥"Sparkling
- 16 years, 6 months, 20 days ago
Today i wanted to be subject to a terrible accident which hospitalised me for months where nurses would look after me, my family comes to see me more. Basically, just for attention, people would care about me for once... id get cards, visitors, maybe new friends, maybe a lawsuit, and time off work. Fortunately i failed and i managed to shovel 2ft of snow and then goto the gym afterwards... now im pooched and must lay to rest.
Unknown"Dough Boi ♥"Sparkling
- 16 years, 9 months, 26 days ago
An international competition for the title of the manliest man comprised three tests. Every participant must: 1. Drink in one gulp a bottle of vodka; 2. Walk into a cage and shake hands with a female bear, and 3. to make love to a woman from a remote Siberian village who never in her life took a bath. A Frenchman drank all of the vodka, and dropped dead. An Englishman drank vodka, then walked into the cage, and dropped dead when he saw the female bear. A Russian drank vodka, and walked into the cage. There was a noisy commotion, and then the Russian walked out of the cage, buttoning his pants, and asked, "Where is the woman to shake her hand?" Unknown"Dough Boi ♥"Sparkling
- 16 years, 9 months, 29 days ago
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad Unknown"Dough Boi ♥"Sparkling
- 16 years, 10 months, 2 days ago
Well Hello There!!! I havent been on here in a very very very long time lol. How are you doing???? Hope to hear from ya soon, and hope all is well!! ^.^
Unknown
"Innocent-Bea uty"Sparkling
- 16 years, 2 months, 3 days ago
LOL..so you've been drinking it up with the boys huh? :P Well I'm glad that you've been getting out and enjoying yourself some. Just don't overdo it on the alcohol there. ;P Yeah..I've been drinking Starbucks when I can, and drawing a little bit. but it's actually been so hot that I haven't been doing much of anything. I start school on Sept 2. You're exactly right haha..I'm happy/sad to go back. But ultimately..I think I'll be glad to go back b/c I'll be accomplishing something, as opposed to sitting around like I have been all summer. When do you start school? I forget. I'm so excited for you to go! I hope you enjoy it (besides the hw of course). :p
aw, thanks ^.^ i dont think i'm changing at all though. maybe just better at taking picture (:P) lol. and thats great that your doing so well for yourself!! i thought you were gonna get out of the baking thing though? O well, as long as your doing well! haha yeah, when did i get so expensive?
Unknown
"Innocent-Bea uty"Sparkling
- 16 years, 5 months, 1 day ago
Hey!!! How are you? :)
Sorry I havent been on in so long ^.^ Glad your still my owner!