An award winnig tale by Lucy and I! well by me mainly. Best parts are mine too:
One day there was a boy called jerome, jerome was one bad mother licker, however, ended up in a siberian prison. Siberia was extremely cold that time of year and Jerome wanted to snuggle with his cell mate, Psycho Jeff for extra warmth and psycho jeff became psycholy excited at the feeling of warmth, the warmth that could only be exchanged between two penguins in an artic storm. thats when jerome realised his arms were really flippers and as soon as jerome realised his arms were really flippers he made his way out to sea via a previously diggen escape route where he realised that his arms werent really flippers he had just had a bad trip off some LSD and munched his arms down to two little flappy stumps and preceeded to sink rapidly, then along came a sailors ship, but the ship was full of fetish loving pirates, yes. a fetish for boys with their arms nibbled down to stumps, who think they are seals, and have names beginning with 'j'.
I have to come up with a cunning plan to escape this evil fate, the plan i have come up with upto now, is to saw my legs off upto the knee, and paint myself green, and therefore make my self look like one of them big swimming tortoises, fortunately there was the first ever B&Q floating Sea store floating by 100 miles out at see so i purchased the green paint and saw for my legs. it was only as the floating store floated off again that i realised i had no frickin hands anymore with which to paint/saw with. Shit and soooo happened to also spot a floating hospital, swam there as fast as i could, but the hospital floated over me, and left me trapped under water, and so i died, end of story.
.......oooh but then i came back to life............dying was a strange time for me. i floated down a white tunnel to a bright light where at the bottom i met the Lord's representative.who was actually TV's very own Carol Smiley (didnt think i'd seen her in a while). she said there was a very special task for me back down on earth and sent me on my jolly well travels again after equipping me wil brand new arms and legs made from lollpy pop sticks and those little blue straws u used to drink milk with in infant school.
when i arrived back on earth, i realised i was in love with carol smiley, and desparately wanted to be back with her, so i set on my mission to kill myself, i looked around to see where i was, and i just couldnt make it out, so i found a fellow human being to ask , and he said 'eee aaah u is in manchestoh' i had never heard of this place before, however i saw a very very tall buolding in front of me, and so i set on my journey to climb to the top of the hilton, to fall to my death. when i got into hilton tower, i had to queue up for approximately 3 hours to get into the bloody lift by which time i was indeed very tired and the lift took me upto the bar instead where i ordered myself a small glass of wine. the bill came and i died of a heart attack and so can we end this story now?? cos i cant be bothere with it, and i dont like what our character had turned into, we have made him hav such a hard time! just think what he has been through in our story! its terrible!
Unknown "Westy :)" Cheeky
- 15 years, 11 months, 27 days ago
