IMPORTANT ANNONCEMENT!

James D has a video blog now and you all must go an look at it immediatley
Unknown "Pixie from Hell" Rabid - 16 years, 2 months, 7 days ago

... I am sick and tired of being so poor
Unknown "Pixie from Hell" Rabid - 16 years, 2 months, 18 days ago

rant at the gay scene part 2

As for the thinking I am hotter than I am… um, just because I don’t hate myself dosnt mean I think I am the hottest shit ever. There is plenty about me that is not conventionally attractive. I have a Neanderthal forehead with a huge eyebrow ridge and kind of look like a caveman if my bangs aren’t in my face. My eyes are really close together, and my huge nose is the most Italian ever. I am ridiculously tall and not even lanky in a sexy tall emo-band-singer kind of way, but in a titanic enormous kind of way that always comes off as physically threatening and/or clumsy, even if I am trying to be cute. I am covered in nasty hair half the time, and the other half of the time, I am covered in angry red bumps because I have waxed the nasty hair and my sensitive skin does not appreciate it. And how about that pallor? If I was any whiter I would actually be transparent and everyone would have to see my insides all the time, that’s how pasty and white I am. The difference is, I don’t hate myself. I love my quirky clumsy body. Its not perfect, but if it was, then it would be boring and I wouldent like it. I show off my huge nose by sticking a huge nose-ring in it and drawing MORE attention to it. I wear a lot of black-and-white and sometimes red because it shows off how pasty I am and makes me look ghostly and spooky. I used to wear shoes that made me TALLER so that I would look even MORE ridiculously enormous. I revel in my strangeness… because its what makes me … me. If that is thinking I am hotter than I am than sorry. But whatever… I am glad that I don’t look in the mirror every day and hate what I see. If I was a marble statue, than I would have more criticism. But I am a human body… not a marble statue. And I can deal with that. If you cant deal with it in yourselves than sorry, that really sucks for you.
I almost feel it is not necessary to address the issue of thinking I run with the “cool crowd”, because it is so bizarre that I cant imagine anyone ever thinking it of me. I think by now its pretty clear that I think the “cool” people in the gay scene are not really my kind of people. I, like them, was never one of the bitchy popular girls in highschool… but unlike them never tried to become that after coming out and turning 19 and going to gay bars. I mean, whatever, if that’s what makes y’all happy than good for you. But its not my thing and never has been. So yeah, just in case you see me out and about on the odd occasion I have been dragged out, or on the even odder occasion that I feel like going out to one of the two lovely gay bars in this city…. Please don’t think that I am somehow attempting an act of social-climbing or networking or whatever. Because I assure you, the last thing I want or need is to turn into one of you guys.
Which brings me to my last accusation, which was actually the first one I listed. And that is that I am snobby. Im going to say that this is a pretty fair accusation if you want to look at it like that. I wish you wouldent see it as me thinking I am “Better” than you and your scene… because I really don’t think that. I think to each his own… and I think that is your own… but not my own. You have no trouble being openly “snobby” about stuff I like… like going to fetish parties or wearing a corset or liking science fiction or starting a gypsy band or going to open mic nights at skydragon and listening to angry spoken word poetry, or playing drunken board games with my housemates. I do not think you are snobby because you are not into all of this… so I wish you would not misinterpret me not caring about you and your pecking order as me being snobby. Im just not into it and I just don’t care.
Except that’s a lie. I start caring when my friends in Toronto are hearing shit being talked about me. That… I do not care for at all. You all can suck it. I just wanted to make that clear to y’all.

Unknown "Pixie from Hell" Rabid - 16 years, 3 months, 5 days ago

Rant at the Gay Scene pt. 1

Dear and much beloved fellow Mo-s.

Now I have never been much for the gay scene, but apparently that does not exempt me from being the subject of your insipid gossip and outrageous ridicule on the odd occasion that you have actually run out of things to talk about regarding each-other and need to branch out into other gay guys in the city who are not a part of your fun little rainbow-and-sparkles royal court of sheer absurdity.

I feel it necessary to address the following points, not because it is the first I have heard of this (quite the contrary, having lived here for three years you all have had plenty of time to get bored of each-other in times past), but because I truly feel like I have reached a breaking point with it. While having a conversation with a friend of mine in Toronto, who is also somewhat unconnected to any kind of party or club scene, he told me that in the course of his work I came up in conversation. Apparently this guy had dated someone in Hamilton, and when they were comparing people they knew, and I came up, the following ideas were expressed. I am, apparently:

1. a snob
2. a poser
3. think I am hotter than I am
4. think that I run with the “cool crowd” when I do not and they all do not care for me


Now. These are all things that I would be fine with if I had only heard them once. I could write them off as some kind of hearsay from some kind of ex boyfriend who was feeling vindictive and therefore just saying shit that made no sense. But I have been hearing this for so long now, and it is a total load of bullshit.

Lets start with being a poser. Im not sure what I am posing as. I definatley was not posing as one of the “in” crowd in the club scene when I first came here, and if I was trying, the goth makeup, bondage/fetish clothes and long black hair prolly wasn’t the best way to go about it. Likewise, I prolly should not have admitted openly to such uncool things like being homeschooled, liking star trek, playing the accordion and loving the opera. Now I have a full-time job because I have dropped out of school (also really cool) so I cant get away with the makeup and long hair anymore. Maybe this is why people are thinking Im a big poser now, because of that change. All I can say is, I liked it better that way, because all you fuckers knew not to bother talking to me because I had no time for your glittery ridiculousness. I still don’t. I wish I could grow my hair long and wear fishnet everything again… just so you all would know exactly how much I long to be a part of your crowd.

And even now, with the fact that I don’t go around looking some kind of gay video-game-character/anarchist anymore… that does not change the fact that I still do things like go to the opera. And I still play the accordion. And I still think I am the reincarnated soul of a devil-worshipping baby-murdering 18th century French mistress. And I still watch movies every day. And I still smoke weed with my hippy friends and then watch fucked up Japanese cartoons. And I want to start a gypsy punk band. And I like to drink beer in small pubs. And I like angry music. Im not sure what I am “posing” as, but I think its as a random insane dude who likes random shit and dosnt give a fuck what people think about him. Oh wait, that’s what I really am.


Unknown "Pixie from Hell" Rabid - 16 years, 3 months, 5 days ago

RULES:
1) Put your music player on shuffle
2) For each question press the 'next' button to get your answer
3) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

if someone says "that's okay" you say;
I love you - the dandy warhols
i'm clingy and apparently that is the right response to "thats ok"

what would best describe your personality;
What goes around comes around - Justin timberlake
apparently a) I listen to justin timberlake and b) this actually describes my outlook on life pretty well

what do you like in a guy or girl;
Piece of me - Brittaney Spears
ok so the most embarrassing music on my computer seems to be deciding to come up here. But anyway, I think this means that I drama

how do you feel today;
Cuba Reprisent - Orishas
I feel like latin rap? Although this is on the dirty dancing soundtrack. Maybe I feel like dirty dancing?

what is your life's purpose;
Wicked Heart - Devotchkas
Ahahahahahahahahaha

what is your motto;
You Know Im no Good - Amy Winehouse
Um... this may be the most appropriate answer so far

what do your friends think of you;
Hop Hop Hop - Goran Bregovic
Im not sure what is meant by "hop hop hop" but I think it might mean people think Im crazy - the song certainly is crazy - sounding

what do you think of often;
Smoke it - the dandy warhols
I like smoking

what do you think of your best friend;
Harem in Tuscany - Gogol Bordello
So I apparently cant think of who my best friend is... cause I have a harem of them

what do you think of the person you like;
Let Down - Radiohead
ahahahahaha .... yeah

what is your life story;
Brain Damage - Pink Floyd
this is starting to get ridiculous

what do you want to be when you grow up;
The Sweetest Girl - Akon / Wycleff
soooooooooooooo ridiculous much?

what do you think when you see the person you like;
Throw it on me - Timbaland ft. the hives
again with the ridiculous

what do your parents think of you?;
Gypsy Queens - Balkan Beat Box
I really hope this is what my parents, and everyone thinks of me

how will you feel at your funeral;
Wind it up - Gwen Stephanie
Im pretty sure I will feel nothing at my funeral... but if I felt anything I hope it is to feel like Im in the sound of music except slutty


what will they play at your wedding;
Get Ready - the Temptations
I hope he is ready :S

what is your hobby or interest
Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophinics
Dunno. Maybe I am a big procrastinator with what I want to be my hobby or interest

what is your biggest fear;
Sonne - Rammstein
Im afraid of the sun?

what is your biggest secret;
High on Life - Rasputina
I secretly love life

what do your friends think of you;
The Gates of Istanbul - Loreena McKennitt
I am a walled city with gates between europe and the middle east. Also I like things like Loreena McKennitt. Thats my best suggestion as to the meaning of this.
Unknown "Pixie from Hell" Rabid - 16 years, 3 months, 11 days ago