You are driving down the road in your car on a wild,
stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see
three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing
that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading.

I failed......

*************************************************


This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually
used as part of a job application. You could pick up
the old lady because she is injured and will die, and thus
you should save her first. Or you could take the old
friend because he once saved your life, and this would
be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you
may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had
no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let
him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind
and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes we gain more if we are able to give up our
stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think
outside of the box."


HOWEVER

The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put
her out of her misery, shag the perfect
partner on the bonnet of the car, then drive off with
the old friend for a few beers.

I just love happy endings....!

Unknown "Angellica" Sparkling - 15 years, 11 months, 8 days ago

HOW TO GET THE ATTENTION OF THE POLICE WHEN THEY SAY THEY'RE TOO BUSY!!!


George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.


George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.


George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. 'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them.' Then he hung up.


Within five minutes six police cars, a SWAT Team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed!


One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!' George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'
Unknown "Angellica" Sparkling - 15 years, 11 months, 9 days ago

Unknown "Angellica" Sparkling - 15 years, 11 months, 17 days ago

Unknown "Angellica" Sparkling - 15 years, 11 months, 17 days ago

30 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A NAKED MAN

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.....
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird'

Unknown "Angellica" Sparkling - 15 years, 11 months, 29 days ago