My Panther is migrating. This Phoenix is starting to reveal her true colors again! He'll be here in less than two weeks and time just seems to be CRAWLING by. Two weeks is too long! I need my Panther. He needs me. We need to be US again. Life was so wonderful when we were together.

JULIET
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO
[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

JULIET
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.


Heather "Juliet" Seductive - 15 years, 1 month, 29 days ago

So this Phoenix is finally moving home. I'm going to miss the Panther that I've become rather fond of. Even though, I thought cats ate birds? Maybe I'm too spicy. *shrugs* Oh well. I'm moving home and I can't wait. TN may not be a very exciting place but it's the only place I can call home. This house I live in now? Not a home.

I'll be able to fly with my flock again. I'll be able to curl up in my nest and fall asleep with out a care in the world.

To those of you I've met while down here in this crazy city...I will miss you. Terribly. But Atlanta is not for me.
Heather "Juliet" Seductive - 15 years, 10 months, 14 days ago

I think I've found a fellow phoenix. I can't tell though. This bird is very elusive, very exotic, very closed off, very...mmmmm...

He makes me tingle from tail to beak. But I can't tell what it is that he wants. A companion? Lover? Normally I can tell about these things, but in this case, I just can't. I'm afraid that if I ruffle my feathers at him too much, he'll fly away. Just like all the others. Just like all of the other males in my existence. What if he's not wanting what I'm wanting? What if he's wanting something that I don't? I feel the urge to be around him whenever I can, but at the same time, I'm trying to distance myself. I don't want to get hurt again. Every time I get hurt, I have to start all over. From scratch.

This is to you. You know who you are even though I know you'll never read this...please...I ask...don't fly away.
Heather "Juliet" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 25 days ago

Days come...days go...and yet I can't seem to fill this emptiness i feel inside. The phoenix is supposed to be a solitary creature. I personally, am not a solitary creature. I feel the need to be with those of my own kind. It's been SO long since I've been alone. And now that I am, it's....odd. I feel off kilter. I feel like I should be worrying about something. I feel like now that there's no one, something is going to jump into my "cage" and get me. DK tells me that once I get used to being solitary, things will get better. I'll learn to enjoy certain activities by myself.

There's a young bird that's been following me around lately and I just can't seem to shake him off. Very nice, very young, very naive. His future mate just left him for someone else and he decides to follow me around. WHY? I don't understand. I'm not showing any interest what so ever. Just being my usual, normal, flirtatious self. But apparently, that's a little too much. I don't want to be mean and tell him to just go away. But i feel like I have to. Maybe solitude is the choice for me. Who knows. I don't even know.

As of right now, this very moment, this little bird needs to turn in.
Heather "Juliet" Seductive - 16 years, 7 months, 23 days ago

I've come to realize that I can't expect much out of life. One minute I'm a beautiful creature until something happens to take all of that away. Now I'm not saying that something has happened to me along those lines, but I just can't EXPECT things to happen. Ya know? I know that I'm not going to live my life according to other people. I'm going to live it according to myself. If I want to go out? I'm going out, dammit. If I want to stay perched in my cage, then goddammit, I'm going to stay perched in my cage. I'm NOT going to let anyone drag me out and about when I don't want to be. It's been months since I've felt the touch of another. I'm not saying I don't miss it, because I do. But then again, I want to hide myself away because I don't want to hurt myself or hurt someone else. Over this past year I've hurt two people who were very close to me. One of which has hurt me back in return. I guess it was the so called "fuck you".

My colors are starting to fade, even though my full plumage hasn't even come in yet. Am I going to self destruct again? I really don't want to. I don't want to hurt those around me when I do.

People tell me I've grown up from the proverbial "ugly duckling" that I once was and have turned into a beautiful swan. But some days...I just don't see it.

Heather "Juliet" Seductive - 16 years, 8 months ago