"It's not that I'm afraid to die.
I just don't want to be there when it happens." (Woody Allen)

"There are worse things in life than death.
Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" (Woody Allen)

"I will not eat oysters.
I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead." (Woody Allen)

Unknown "BELOVED" Crazy - 16 years, 11 months ago

"Hard work never killed anybody,
but why take a chance?" (Edgar Bergen)

"Young men think old men are fools;
but old men know young men are fools." (Truman Capote)

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip
and forcing it over your head." (Carol Burnett)

"Everything is drive-through. In California,
they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box." (Wil Shriner)


Unknown "BELOVED" Crazy - 16 years, 11 months ago

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." (H. L. Mencken)

"It is hard to tell if a man is telling the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place." (H. L. Mencken)

"Those who do not feel pain seldom think that it is felt." (Dr. Samuel Johnson)

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject." (Winston Churchill)



Unknown "BELOVED" Crazy - 16 years, 11 months ago

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." (Helen Keller)

"Happiness cannot come from without.
It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy;
it is that which we think and feel and do,
first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." (Helen Keller)

Unknown "BELOVED" Crazy - 16 years, 11 months ago

=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns.

"Give me a Budweiser, or...!"

"O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender.

"A small Coke."
Unknown "BELOVED" Crazy - 16 years, 11 months ago