In my last tale, I probably scared a few people...it was just a vent. I do have friends, and they've been there for me and I for them. Even if I didn't agree, I supported their decisions...as they have for me. I won't claim that there haven't been bumps in the road...or even drop offs. For the most part, though, I am thankful that I have such great friends in my life right now...I don't know what I'd do without them. And though I'm still not convinced that I have great moral character, I do believe that I'm well on my way to becoming a good person. I have made goals and stuck to them. I have a good job with satisfying hours, I'm still in school, and I've become more of that person that I want to be
Unknown "destine" Playful - 16 years, 4 months, 26 days ago

After much deliberation, I've come to the realization that in my lifetime, I've made no lasting friendships. Partially because those that either I have chosen or those who've chosen me as a friend have hurt each other, no more one than the other. I can't claim to be a good person, because that would mean I have to believe it, and I'm not quite convinced of such things just yet. I DO, however, know that I am a much better person than I once was...I can't blame friends from last summer even for not believing that I'm not the same person. I was emotionless, heartless, and lifeless...yeah, I partied a lot, and did a lot to screw up everything I never wanted to be in life. I WAS that person that I vowed never to be around, never to become. I was the liar, the thief, the cheat, the druggie, the whore. It took so much to make me see it. My friends couldn't convince me, I wouldn't listen to my family...and I wasn't ready to tell myself. What did I have to lose? I'd already lost so much, it seemed. I didn't know who I was before...how was I supposed to figure it out after so long? I am called self-centered, and everything revolves around me...and all I ever talk about is myself. I show noone the softer side of me anymore...I will not let myself get hurt again. I will not let myself hurt others again. I will not hurt. You see me smile, whether or not it's real...whether or not I'm actually dying inside. I will act as if nothing is wrong, when really, I just want to curl up into a dark corner of my room and stay forever. Yes, I am blessed. I am blessed to have the strength to shield myself from all. Yes, I am cursed. I run away from things that hurt, memories that won't fade, the guilt I carry in shame...instead of facing them like a hero, I cower like a frightened animal. There is nothing wrong with me, and yet the world is empty for me now. You can never go home again. Everything changes. But can I change to accomodate? Should I even try? What really matters in life? Is it friends, is it family, is it finding the self? I feel as if I'll never know, never live long enough to see for myself, never find the courage to try. What to do, what to do? Should I go, should I stay? Should I work, study, or pray? How can life be so cruel and so beautiful at the same exact moment? What can I do or say to prove myself worthy of people...worthy of education...worthy of love...worthy of life? What can I do?
Unknown "destine" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 19 days ago

As I have sat back and listened about people boohooing over "global warming" for the past few years because of Al "douchebag" Gore, I have steamed over the idiocy of the facts that people are to ignorant to see:

1) While Al Gore flies around on his private jet preaching to us that we need to conserve, he is doing exactly the opposite of what he received (in err) a nobel prize for.

2) There is no such thing as "global warming", it's an inaccurate, inappropriate, and inundane idea which properly describes all of the "symptoms" of the middle of the next ice age. Yes, I said ice age. Notice, if you will, the summers are hotter, and all the other seasons are just getting more and more crazy. Polar caps are melting, creating more water, which will eventually cause more crazy weather (storms, hurricanes, etc), which will further lead to climate dropping (colder weather and such)...FINALLY, creating what we have all learned in science to be an ice age. Seriously. Most symptoms of the afore mentioned, by the way, will not even occur in the next millenia.

3) People need to make themselves more adequately informed instead of trying to find out what's going on with celebrities, who obviously aren't suffering from our rapidly inflating economic crises.

That is all.
Unknown "destine" Playful - 16 years, 6 months, 20 days ago