My friends and family insist that I attract weird shit. Not literally, but odd situations seem to befall me on a quasi-regular basis.
In all fairness, I didn't notice it myself until someone pointed it out. I mean, since I've always been me, I have no basis for comparison. I assumed that weird shit just happened to everyone.
But the more I tell my stories, the more it becomes clear that I may indeed possess some type of gravitational pull for the out-of-the-ordinary.
I'm not talking about flying monkeys, circus midgets, aliens and two-headed dogs. I'm talking about things like the middle-aged black woman, wearing the hat with a fake bird and a piece of fruit, who struck up a conversation with me in Donna's coffee shop one morning.
It seems that ever since she had her last child, during the birth of which they gave her morphine, everything has gone backwards on her. And so now coffee actually knocks her out instead of waking her up.
And such, she told me, she's decided to switch to hot chocolate with whipped cream.
Makes sense enough to me...
Or just yesterday, as I was walking to the Dunkin Donuts for coffee, I'm approaching a man in a winter hat and coat, bent over in the middle of the sidewalk, pants around his ankles, touching his toes, dark-colored, striped boxers exposed to the world.
As I passed him, he asked for change. But since I wasn't sure if he was looking for money or another pair of pants...I simply continued on my way.
Are there more? Of course. Do they get weirder? Some of them. But I really should get some work done...
...to be continued.
Unknown "Loquacious" Frisky
- 17 years, 6 days ago
