Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY


Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Unknown "Slave 5" Adored - 15 years, 11 months, 23 days ago

anyone who can see this can answer this although only the people that know me and talk to me can truely answer

You love me enough to A. Have sex B. kiss C. Hug D. be good friends
Unknown "Slave 5" Adored - 16 years, 1 day ago

favorite futurama qoute

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
Unknown "Slave 5" Adored - 16 years, 1 day ago

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.

"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

Because you got an "F" in sex."
Unknown "Slave 5" Adored - 16 years, 1 day ago

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your tales, delete my answers and type in your answers.

Kissed anyone one of your HP friends? No
Been arrested? No
Kissed someone you didn't like? No
Slept in until 5 PM? No
Fallen asleep at work/school? YES
Held a snake? Yes
Ran a red light? YES
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? NO
Been fired from a job? Yes
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? No
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? No
Kissed in the rain? No
Sang in the shower? YES
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No
Broken a bone?No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Played a prank on someone? YES
Felt like killing someone? YES
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? NO
Been in a band? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Donated Blood? NO
Eaten alligator meat? NO
Eaten cheesecake? YES
Still love someone you shouldn't? YES
Think about the future? YES
Believe in love? YES
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? YES
Unknown "Slave 5" Adored - 16 years, 1 day ago