A tale of a tail...
So once there was this pub called The Castle Inn. Ordinary sort of place with a friendly landlord, the licensing sign above the door stating that he was permitted to sell wine, beer, liquer, etc etc between the hours of 11am and 11pm.
Anyway, one day this really scruffy old man comes stumbling in and garbles, "I 'aven' got any money, but I'm dyin' for a drink".
"Well, I'm sorry", the landlord replies, "but I can't serve you alcohol if you have no money".
"Tell ya wot", retorts the tramp, "I AM willing to give you my increreble dog Rover, if you jus' lemme have all the beer I want for tonight. Amazin' dog he is".
The landlord, being a reasonable sort of bloke, agrees to take a look at this dog and see what's so amazing about him, before deciding what to do. So the tramp whistles, and in comes Rover.
5 minutes later, the tip of the dog's tail passes through the door, because he just has SUCH a long tail!!
The landlord is suitably impressed by this and so agrees to the tramp's proposal. The old man proceeds to get very drunk and is very happy, and the landlord is also pretty pleased, as word ends up getting around about this dog with the extraordinary tail, and people travel from far and wide to see it. They all stop for a drink or two while they're there, and business was never better.
Now, sadly, after many happy years, Rover dies (awwwww).
To commemorate his dog, the landlord keeps his incredible tail and mounts it in a huge glass case above the bar. People still come into see it, and everyone talks about what a good old dog he was.
So it happens that one night the landlord is working late, just cleaning up and taking stock. At the strike of midnight he hears this dreadful howling coming from outside, and he opens the door to see.. the ghost of Rover! sitting there on the doorstep.
"Alright, Rover old pal", he says, "How's it going?"
"Oh, fine, fine", Rover replies (ghost dogs are able to speak). "I'm up in doggy heaven now and everything's great. There is just one thing though.. All the other dogs make fun of me because I haven't got a tail! I was wondering if you could see fit to giving me my tail back?"
"Aww, sorry Rover boy", answers the landlord, "You were a good dog and I'd love to help you out, but you know the rules as well as anybody...
I'm not allowed to retail spirits after 11!"
Unknown "Her Rose" Sparkling
- 17 years, 2 days ago
