Wouldn't it suck if you promised someone that you would never scratch a specific itch again? Say, for the sake of example, your head. You will never scratch your head again. Other people can scratch it, so long as you don't. Then, factor in the poor luck of having no one around capable and/or willing to scratch your head. Sounds pretty distressing, huh? Well, it sure effing is.
Unknown "E>" Crazy - 16 years, 2 months, 5 days ago

First off, all my tales are tall. But then again, so am I, at least moderately. Six feet isn't that tall, not in America that is. We breed them tall. And deep. And other adjectives as well. Anywhooo, back to my story, tale rather. Or is it more of a tail? It's lengthy and I'm pulling it out of my ass, at the moment. Prehensile, too. Pretty sweet tail of a tale, eh? That's what I thought. But yeah, back to it: So this one time, there was a monkey, right? And he was a pretty bitchin' monkey. He did all kinds of monkey-stuff and junk. He collected stamps, but not our stamps. Monkey stamps. 'Cause they totally have their own stamps. How else could monkey pen-pals exist? They don't. They have banana-pals instead, 'cause they're illiterate. People need to work on that, the whole monkey illiteracy bit. It's a damned shame. But yeah, Stamp Monkey, as I shall now call him, was out collecting bizarre bananas for his banana-pal Captain Simian, the space monkey, when suddenly, the planet exploded! BOOOOM! And everybody died. Except Stamp Monkey, who no longer had stamps, as they are not very Earth-plosion-proof. So the monkey formerly known as Stamp Monkey decided to start at his tail and just eat until nothing felt anymore. What he hadn't realized was that when the planet exploded, all of its mass had attached itself to his tail and reconfigured as part of the original entity. So, while he searched for then end of his endless tail, he slowly starved without even noticing, caught up in the hunt for the tail's ending. Which was a shame, as he was a very exceptional tail-eater, but I suppose he'll never know it.

The end.
=D

Unknown "E>" Crazy - 16 years, 2 months, 12 days ago