You never really know the affects one death can have on the world until you've gone through the motions. Its tears at you and slowly claws your heart till you can't help but break down with all of its pleasure. You first feel the shock of, "Are you serious?" or, "Your kidding me right?". Then you sit there letting it sink in first through the skin, you don't even feel it. You start to think about the good times, through your bones and you feel a small poke or prick. You then think about all the things the person told you they wanted and you think about how great they were. You remember how they made you happy or angry you remember how you treated them and question almost everything, now its in your viens and you feel preasure upon the poke or prick starting the pain that will soon overwhelm you. You then realize how much you loved them and how much they meant to you. You see how much you will miss them and how much it hurts knwoing never again will they be with you, see you, or talk to you. Suddenly it reaches your heart and you break down with the tears streaming down your cheeks as you can't seem to stop them. The pain increases more as your thought process continues getting pushing the pain deeper with in your heart until you can accept it. It forces you to. Once you do then the pain slowly eases and gives you room to breath but still lingers in the air as you take the harsh breaths that have a hard time reaching your lungs, the air burning as it travels from all your crying, pain, and sadness. Your strength to hide away the feelings grows stronger as the feelings weaken. You soon become numb and stay that way until you can accept that things aren't and will never be the same. Time to move on, knowing that they truely can't until you do. Its rough and hard to go through but its a feeling we all must go through as we live on. Some go through this at an early stage while others have the luck of having to wait to deal. The most anyone can do is live on with their memory still in your head so that spiritualy they will never die as long as they stay in your heart and mind...

Thats what I am forced to do now...

R.I.P. Eros- I'll miss you so much, you were like a brother to me yet we only knew each other for only a year, not even. I'll never forget you, protecting me at work from those drunks. You know, saying "You talking bout my sister?!" I'll miss that and the constant annoying hitting on me. Its definitely not ever gonna be the same at T.G.I.Fridays without you. I don't think we could ever forget you though. I hope that even though you had to leave that you are able to be happy with where you are now. This is gonna be hard on all of us losing you like this but, I'm sure you wouldn't want us all crying and feeling depressed. I'm sure you want us out there partying in your favor remembering how awesome you were. I'm sure you would want us to be happy. We will all take care of Laura for you, so don't worry about her, just keep watch over her as I'm sure she knows you are. Love you forever and always bro.

Born- ?/?/1988
Died- 8/17/2008 I'm so sorry Eros.
Unknown "Halanna" Purring - 16 years, 2 months, 22 days ago

This is the world in which I live.

You feel alone but at the same time crowded. You can't breathe from lack of oxygen and the overwhelming amount around you. You sit in silence yet you cover your ears because of the excruciating noise that doesn't seem to quiet. Your trapt in a world you can't stand yet you love and keeps you happy but also wants you to be utterly miserable. Both ends pulling at you to keep you or to kick you out, confusing and annoying the feeling doesn't seem to stop. I'm dying in this world trying to crawl out of the small tunnel I have that continues to close in with each second.

Help me please...before its too late.
Unknown "Halanna" Purring - 16 years, 4 months, 1 day ago

Anyone else have those days where you just can't stand everyone around you? You just want to either kill everyone, blare your music letting it reflect how you feel, or go on a walk alone. Subcluding everyone from your life, mind, and space. Just go and calm down, feeling the truth, that you are all you've got. Take a deep breath just to realize that you knew this and your okay with it. You feel as if you don't need anyone and don't want anyone around you. Yeah, I get those days a lot.
Unknown "Halanna" Purring - 16 years, 10 months, 5 days ago

Working tonight I was so irritated and just wanted to scratch someone's eyes out, rip out their throat, and burning their body alive. I just wanted to cause pain to someone. But, returning home and calming down, I think I will be alright. ^_^ haha
Unknown "Halanna" Purring - 16 years, 10 months, 7 days ago

I was playing pool and getting my ass kicked! :(
I'm getting better and I shall beat all my friends one day. Hehe, I shall. -_- <--ok little scary
Unknown "Halanna" Purring - 16 years, 10 months, 10 days ago