Randomly, I've been thinking about the human soul lately. Kind of like, what is it? Personally, I believe it exists. By soul, I mean the 'essence' of humans. What makes them all built the same but each of them different. Complex beings, and all that.

You know, after you die, six ounces disappears. Where does it go? That's after your bowels release and such. It's weird. Some scientists believe that's the soul leaving the body, but I don't know if I agree. Ounces implies weight. If there's weight, there's content. If there's content, why haven't we found it yet?

At first, I was thinking that maybe the soul is a function. Like electricity. It's something that is constantly moving in the body and it's what moves it and when the function ceases, the weight disperses. Maybe it's just atoms? Cause there's that theory saying that nothing can be created or destroyed and so where does that go, if that is the case? Into the air? Can it be contained in a clean room, then?

And even after that, I think the soul is contained in the part of the brain we don't use. I think that's the best reason behind why it can't be found. Maybe it uses different frequency's, you know? Maybe the way it's used is different from the other parts of gray matter and that's why it doesn't show activity. Cause the mind is ridiculous and we'll never really understand it completely, no matter how hard we try, but what if the true 'mind' includes the soul? I mean, how genius would that be?

There have been serial killers who would go around murdering, just to see if at any point they would be able to visibly see the soul exit the body. Why does everyone think it's beneath the rib cage? 'Soul' isn't even a completely religious word.

And what about the well of souls? So many books or sci-fi novels about that. I'm not in school, but I kinda want to write a thesis. My brain just won't let this go. GEH.
Unknown "Protège" Perplexed - 15 years, 9 months, 1 day ago

The essence of being both alive and dead at the same time. That is to say, if today you are kidnapped and then made aware of the fact that at five o' clock (three hours from then) you were going to be killed by your captor. At that point, you will be dead, therefore, you are dead while living. 'Dead man walking' they say, Schrodinger's cat, it's been said. This has got me stuck in a rut, to say that someone is dead when they are clearly not? Rubbish. However, who's to say that dead means only physical? As of that time, you know you will die, so you think like someone who is going to die, and before you are killed, you've at some point resigned yourself to the fact and therefore, you died the moment they said they were going to kill you.

Naturally, this theory leaves out free will. It leaves out the fact that you can fight it, but say that you were that cat, and you were in that cage and there was that flask and it there was no way for you to run- then it all completely applies.

I will one day crack the human psyche. This is my life's goal as a human being, as a person, as an individual. Career and romance aside, this is what I want.
Unknown "Protège" Perplexed - 15 years, 9 months, 14 days ago

Drabble

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"Juudaime, ti voglio tanto tanto bene."

The room was silent for a moment while the brunette scrunched up his face and knit his eyebrows in thought. When nothing came, the boy pulled a metal spoon from his mouth, noting the click that sounded when it caught teeth briefly.

"Eh? What does that mean?"

Shoulders hunched as he leaned forward, straddling a backwards chair at the dinner table and light caught in silver strands. Gokudera snorted, smiling somewhat sadly to himself. He could never do that to Tsuna.

"It means eat your soup before it gets cold."

"Oh..." Suspicion, then a laugh "Alright. Thanks."

There followed a catch of breath in which a certain someone almost let a little something be known. Inwardly, he wondered how horrible it would be say 'actually... It means that I really, really like you.'

Instead, a defeated word, half sighed "..... Yeah".
Unknown "Protège" Perplexed - 15 years, 9 months, 14 days ago

I think this whole thing is stupidly funny. I've been apologizing for being a liar, and bending backwards trying to get people to understand that I want to do better and you know who I got the most shit from? Other liars. The moment I realized that today, I couldn't stop grinning. You guys are dumb. Some of you have even come to me, saying you have a problem with lying and I've forgiven you because I assumed you were sincere. Now, I come to you and I'm not worth it? How rich is that? That's called a slap in the face, for those of you who weren't aware. Do you know why I'm hard to get along with? Because I have value. Go ahead and find 'easy' people to get along with. You see, I don't care. I did, when I thought you cared too. I know hundreds of 'easy' people, but it's the 'hard' ones that can make me laugh when I'm feeling sad.

Fuck is that a weight load off my chest. I've never been the type to want to stay in a relationship with someone who didn't want me in it. Chances are a privilege, not a right. Please, do not come crawling back to me when this bites you in the ass. Or do. I'd probably take you back anyway, cause see, memories mean a lot to me, even if they don't to you.
Unknown "Protège" Perplexed - 15 years, 11 months, 20 days ago

The new promise. It's from a song, sure, but who cares? It's good all the same. For all current friends, past friends, future friends. Flatly, I promise to give a damn. It's taken me a while, but I'm going to be someone you guys can love, someone you can trust, and I want to build back up the closeness that I broke. Do not think I'm kidding, or that this will not happen. Doubt me, but please let there be hope there, too.

With my DYING WILL. (lol, okay, that just fit really well.)


Unknown "Protège" Perplexed - 15 years, 11 months, 22 days ago